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How much do you want to lose vs. how much do you expect to lose

I spoke to a mind/body fitness guru the other day and he put me through something that blew my mind.

He asked me how much do you want to lose? I answered about 20 pounds. He said are you sure? And I said ok, truth? 25 pounds. If I lost 25 pounds I would have the best body ever.

Then he asked this: how much do you expect to lose? And I answered, without hesitation 10 pounds. I'll lose 10 and then I'll feel thinner and I'll get lazy and stick right around those 10 pounds.

He said, the secret lies in that gap. The gap of what you want and what you expect. Based on what you said, you will only lose 10 pounds.

Next week we're working on closing the gap.

Tue. Nov 29, 7:30am

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That's a great point

I hadn't thought of that, but it's true. I don't know if I have a number exactly (of lbs. I expect to lose), but I WANT to lose 50. I do know that when I get under 190, I start to get cocky. My jeans are looser, I feel like I can do anything. For me, I have to take it 10lbs. at a time. Right now I'm at 193. When I get down to about 186 I get excited (and lazy, of course!). So if you figure out how to close the gap, or keep the momentum, let us know. PeerTrainer may just be a crucial part of it for me. I am so grateful.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005, 8:02 AM

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I'm doing the opposite... First of all, I'm only 5'1", so keep that in mind with my numbers (average BMI for my height is between 97 lbs and 132 lbs.) When I started, I was 127. I wanted to get to 123, b/c that's what my weight was in college. It took 5 months to get to 123, but once I got there, the weight kept coming off by doing the same things that I had been doing. Now, probably 1 month later, I'm at 119, and now I want to make it to 115! That's 8lbs less than my "goal!"

Tuesday, November 29, 2005, 9:14 AM

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Good for you!

I'll try for the same effect.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005, 12:04 PM

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Don't get frustrated with the numbers!

A few years ago I weighed 136 lbs and set my goal at 118 lbs (18 lb loss). I'm really short so at 136 my BMI was at the low end of the overweight mark. I struggled and struggled trying to reach 118, and kept disappointing myself when only a few pounds fell off. So i stopped focusing on 118. The number was driving me crazy! Instead, i focused on exercising and limiting my intake of Ben and Jerry's. A year ago I weighed in at about 126 lbs. Although I had lost 10 lbs, i learned that my body fat was 30%. I was shocked! I started limiting my desserts to only 2 each week (I love sweets!) and kept altering my exercise routine so my body didn't have a chance to get used to the work out (try changing it up if you've hit a plateau). I also started taking lots of weight lifting classes at my gym. Now a year later I'm 118 lbs and 19% body fat. I've finally reached the 118 I'd always wanted but my motivation wasn't the 118, it was knowing that 1/3 of my body was fat! My advice is - dont' focus so much on your weight. I only lost 8 lbs in the last year but went from 30% to 19% body fat. Don't get frustruted if your weight isn't changing much, keep track of your body fat too. You might see big changes in your body composition that will keep you motivated! or in my case, it might be a wake up call and give you the kick in the arse you need to get started. (At 136 pounds I must have been at least 35% fat!)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005, 5:00 PM

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I LOVE this post. I talked about it all day in my groups. I think this partially explains why sometimes the last 10 pounds are always the toughest to lose. It's not that it's any harder than any other pounds but the fact that we get a little lazier, a little less diligent about posting what we eat, or measuring out our meals etc...

We don't try as hard because we don't really believe we'll do it.

To the original poster: Please post more about your sessions and progress. I would love to read more.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005, 6:58 PM

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Thank you...I'll keep you updated. It's really been helping me so far.

Thursday, December 01, 2005, 7:31 AM

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I find that the way for me to beat this (because it's not an issue for me) is that I don't focus on a goal weight. I don't have a goal weight. I really don't. My focus is on eating well and exercising, cardio and strength training. With those habits in place, as a lifetime thing, not just as a "do this to lose weight" thing, my weight will end up where it is supposed to be. I focus on my health, not my weight.

Thursday, December 01, 2005, 8:41 AM

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Sabotaging our own goals

So many good points being made here. I realized that I have my stated goal of what I want to weigh or achieve, and then there is my "hidden agenda" which is very powerful, and it's saying, in essence, "yes that would be nice BUT I'll be happy to settle for less." So now I'm going to be more aware of those messages, my goal (like an asking price for my house) is now NON-Negotiable!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005, 11:33 AM

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to the OP:

How are you and your guru working on closing the gap between what you said was your goal and what you actually think you'll lose? I'd love to hear any techniques you're using.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005, 4:30 PM

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This is a great thread. I've gained and lost weight so many times. Part of it is thisI little game that goes on in my head when I hear "oh, you've lost some weight, great job!" I suddenly start to slack off, and before I know it, I've gained back what I worked off (and then some). I've tried to figure out what's going on, but really have no clue. Maybe some other insight will help me learn what my "agenda" is. Please keep updating on your progress!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005, 4:43 PM

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