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picking up women at the gym

I see a bunch of cute woman at the gym but just dont know how to approach them, I smile at them and we make eye contact and it ends there. How do I make my first move whats something I can bring up in a discussion to catch their attention, I would love a woman's point of view

Mon. Jun 18, 1:45pm

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I say go for it! There's so much fear of rejection with BOTH sexes. You'll never know if she's the one until you ask!

Keep in mind she's probably a little uncomfortable because you're talking to her while working out, i.e. no make up or running mascara, bad hair, BO, sweat. But if she still looks like heaven anyway, you should make your destiny....I'd love for a man to approach me at the gym, means they've seen me at my low point and getting naked wouldn't be as big of deal later on.


Monday, June 18, 2007, 1:48 PM

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Picking up women at the gym is a bad idea in my mind. (I am a guy)- women I think want to be left alone to do their thing. I could be wrong. The best way to meet women is through friends. Get out there and make friends, and the women will follow.

Monday, June 18, 2007, 2:03 PM

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Pick up women at the gym is a bad idea- this is coming from a women!

I don't go to the gym to workout and look cute. I go to the gym for totally selfish reason... for me me me!

I have been hit on a few times at the gym and completely blew the guys off, sad thing is had they apprached me somewhere else like the store, coffee shop, baseball game I would have taken them up on the date offer.

Monday, June 18, 2007, 2:05 PM

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how about asking one of the women how they would like to be approached? it's a nice, honest ice-breaker...

Monday, June 18, 2007, 2:17 PM

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I've never had anyone try to pick me up at the gym (I'm female.) but definitely wouldn't mind. My gym has a smoothie bar -- if yours does too, you could always make a campy kind of bar joke of the "may I buy you a drink after your workout?" variety. Or, "Would you join me for a protein and vitamin cocktail?" I could definitely imagine getting a laugh out of that, and would probably say yes.

Monday, June 18, 2007, 2:19 PM

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As a Woman ...

It depends on the woman. If you are actually making eye contact with them and there seems to be a glint, go for it - I really like 2:19's line, however .........
If you are not getting any real response from the eye contact (like you would in a bar for example) don't do it.
I am probably perceived to be the snobbiest woman at my gym, because I refuse to make eye contact with anyone, therfore people pretty much know to leave me alone which is what I want from my gym experience,
If you get a bit of the warm and fuzzy - try

Monday, June 18, 2007, 2:32 PM

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I personally wouldn't enjoy just straight out being "hit-on" while working out. However, I would be interested and flattered if a man I saw at the gym frequently started smiling at me, saying hi, and eventually working up to general conversation. Once you've established a comfort level and familiarity with me (not talking about being good buddies or anything, just once I no longer see you as a creep looking to pick up someone-it's IRONIC but it works!)-THEN maybe try saying something like "I know this is a long shot, but I was wondering if you'd like to grab a cup of coffee with me sometime?" Or a drink, or whatever. You will know at this point whether or not she is interested!!


Women like to be wooed, and like the build up of excitement. If you rush in and ask her out flat, you will probably be denied (we are there for working out!!!!). Go slow!!

Monday, June 18, 2007, 3:00 PM

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I go to the gym to workout and that is all. It would bother me if I were hit on.

Monday, June 18, 2007, 3:20 PM

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I think there's a HUGE DIFFERENCE between sussing out mutual interest and being hit on. I think the original poster's question was more of the former, than being a sleeze-ball. I think the previous poster nailed it. If you're making eye contact, and saying "hi," then perhaps sally on up to the treadmill or ellipitical machine next her. Comment on the TV program, or something. Introduce yourself. It's hard, but everyone it so afraid of being rejected that we don't make any moves. I wouldn't mind being noticed and spoken to at the gym.... being tossed a lame line and asked out without some mild flirtatious conservation would be off-putting.

Monday, June 18, 2007, 5:02 PM

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the previous poster being 3:00

Monday, June 18, 2007, 5:03 PM

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I'd love it, but timing is everything. For example, I'd be much more open to striking up a conversation and flirting during a warm up, or stretching. Not so interested in being approached when I am grunting lifting weights, or sweating buckets doing cardio.

Monday, June 18, 2007, 6:00 PM

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Go to the gym to work out. That's what gyms are for.
If you're interested in someone, put the feelers out there with friends that you make at the gym. Heck, become friends with her if you're interested. You may find that she is happily married, or psychotic! Either way, you'll find out a whole lot more about someone if you become friends before trying to get in their shorty shorts first.
If you like a lady at the gym, talk to a personal trainer and bring up all the women you're interested in through "guy talk." (Be clean about it though, you never know who is friends with the ladies you are attracted to.) They may know a whole lot more about them than frineds at the gym would.


Monday, June 18, 2007, 6:17 PM

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I've had lots of regular conversations with guys and it's all good - if I weren't married I might've even been more engaging with some of them (and, no, I'm not assuming they were all hitting on me!) I'm there to work out and generally keep to myself, too, but talking to people is fun and harmless. If you're getting eye contact vs. the "I'm here to work out leave me alone!!" vibe then I don't see the problem with approaching them for conversation. In my case, the conversations were usually initiated by them and it fit into the context of what was going on - a comment on a yoga pose I was doing (he did yoga), a comment on being at the gym at 5:30am on a regular basis, a comment on a move I was doing (which happened to be a Men's Health move), etc. If it's a relevant conversation starter, at worst you have a short conversation about it, at best the conversation continues and you'll get an idea of where to go next.

And you know what? How great do I feel if someone is interested in me when I'm NOT looking my best??

Monday, June 18, 2007, 7:27 PM

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I'd feel intruded upon if a guy asked me out while I was working out... however, if someone approached me on my way out of the gym or as I was checking out (for example, asking me if I wanted to get coffee, or a smoothie or whatever -- or initiated lighthearted conversation), then that'd be okay with me.... I'd prefer to exchange greetings and casual conversation a few times before someone asked me out.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007, 3:27 AM

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any place is a good place to make a connection. we sometimes go to places with a purpose other than being asked out, right? i mean, supermarket, pharmacy, church, restaurant, memorial, lecture, seminar, movie, etc.-all of these are places you go with a primary purpose, but they are also all places where you could meet your next partner, too! i don't think there is a wrong place, per se, to ask someone out. but timing is everything!! look for the appropriate moment or you might entirely miss your chance of not coming off like a weirdo.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007, 8:49 AM

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I (a woman) entirely agree with the 3:00 PM poster. Good luck and let us know how it goes :D

Tuesday, June 19, 2007, 11:19 AM

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Is she interested?

I go to the Gym and work out on a treadmill. I see a women who works out opposite me and she is on an ellipitical machine, then she goes and does work out on the floor. She faces towards me and does the work out. Last time, I think she was watching me from some corner and I never noticed. When, I finished and I was going back, she had an eye contact with me. I also did. Today again she was doing her floor workout in front of me. I was really scared and slowly looked at her, but she then walked towards me, and that time I was scared to look at her not knowing what she would think. Is this women interested? How do I start off? Should I smile at her and start saying Hi.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007, 9:54 PM

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Ha! Sounds as if you might be lucky enough that SHE will say "hi" to YOU! Just promise us that if she does that you won't be all weird about it -- guys who don't like a woman who can take the initiative are annoying.

1) OF COURSE you should smile. Smiling says you are friendly and having a good time. Why would she want to talk to you if you were unfriendly and hating what you were doing?

2) You've got some good advice on this thread as to how and when to say "hi." Like, not in the middle of the elliptical workout when she's panting too hard to answer, okay? :-) And not when she's holding free weights over her head that you could surprise her into dropping, LOL.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007, 9:12 AM

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so, i hate to ask this, but if you're this nervous about saying, "hi", how are you going to follow through with the date?

Wednesday, June 20, 2007, 10:01 AM

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to me getting hit on at the gym is the same as getting hit on anywhere else. If I'm interested in the guy I'm all for it. If not it's an annoyance.

It sounds sad, but I think this is true for most.

Although if a guy were to approach me when I was filling a water bottle I wouldn't mind saying hello.

Talking a bit.

Anyway To avoid that I just hang out in the women's only area at my gym because I have a boyfriend and don't want to deal with that issue at all.

Thursday, June 21, 2007, 11:28 AM

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Is she interested

I did not see her the last two days, and I am not sure why she did not turn up. I may not be going tomorrow, so I think its again back on Monday probably.

Thursday, June 21, 2007, 10:08 PM

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Is she interested

I did not see her the last two days, and I am not sure why she did not turn up. I may not be going tomorrow, so I think its again back on Monday probably.

Thursday, June 21, 2007, 10:09 PM

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Ok, red flag!! Coming from a woman who has been approach at the gym....
Do not hit on women at the gym! I remember myself, sitting on some sort of butt-machine, drenched in sweat and red blotches all over my face. Some guy had the nerve to start talking to me. All I wanted to do was bolt, or punch him in the face. This has happened many times. Trust me - women are at the gym to get in shape, not to look cute and get dates. And considering how much effort it actually takes most women to get out of the house and work out, just to have some guy ruin your grove because he likes your butt in spandex is extremely annoying. It shows that he is not considerate of your feelings and your motives. Just don't do it, unless a woman approaches you.

Friday, June 22, 2007, 12:13 PM

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Adding on to what I just wrote, a gym is like a sanctuary for most people to just be with themselves working on themselves. If a woman (me) feels that she cannot be left alone even when she is busy with something, it might make me reconsider coming to the gymn anymore. If I feel that I'm being starred at and judged by guys when I'm in the most heinous of positions, red in the face and sweaty, I will just get embarassed. You wouldn;t bother someone at work when they are busy, would you? NO!

Friday, June 22, 2007, 12:16 PM

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And the reason she may have been looking at you was to figure out if you are a creep who is going to hit on her.

Friday, June 22, 2007, 12:18 PM

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How to pick up women from the gym

picking up is the wrong word- you can subtly market yourself by dressing nicely, smiling and reading when you workout. Makes you look smart, busy and important.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007, 2:02 PM

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guys who look too engaged in their workout to plot on looking attractive or smart or busy or important so they can get noticed by a woman in the gym are the ones who attract me the most! pretense is okay in the right setting, but when i'm trying to better myself, i want to be with someone who is equally committed to reaching his goals!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007, 2:06 PM

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(From a guy) I was at the gym the other day and this cute girl would look at me then look away. Later she also smiled at me and looked away again. I'm kind of a shy guy and don't really go to the gym to flirt. (I also didn't show any interest in her because I was shy.) Do you think she was genuinely interested in me? And if so think I would have a chance with her if I saw her again?

Side note: She went to the gym with a friend of hers...what threat/advantages does that pose?

Saturday, August 30, 2008, 2:16 AM

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Generally speaking we (women) go to the gym to work out and dont like to feel like we are being watched. Are you criticizing our workout or looks, or wondering why we are there, or interested in us? Its disconcerting and most of us are there for the workout. However, there can be little comments that you can make that are ice breakers. "Are you done with this machine?" "This is my favorite (or worse) machine because-----------" Keep it short and friendly but more to the subject (working out).. If she is interested, she will let you know. Another way would be to "hang" around the lobby until she comes by and then ask her out. That way you have respected her privacy in working out and waited for a more appropriate moment. (Plus she should be showered and cleaned up and feeling better about friendly approaches)

Saturday, August 30, 2008, 9:43 AM

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9:43 you hit it right on the head.

I don't want to be approached when I'm in the gym. Not only am I busy working out, but I'm sweaty. No make up, stringy damp hair, I'm grunting and groaning. Not exactly a pretty picture. And I don't feel comfortable being close to people when I'm all sweaty. Usually I think the guys who try to pick me up when I'm at my sweatiest and least attractive are weirdos.

Keep the conversation short and to the point like pp said. Maybe wait til the day I'm in the pool to have a "real" conversation. I'm still working out but I'm not sweaty and smelly.

Saturday, August 30, 2008, 11:12 AM

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Geez ! This thread is a little over a year old ! Is the OP still around ?

Saturday, August 30, 2008, 8:58 PM

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I bet he married her, they had a kid, and they moved to Catalina.....

Saturday, August 30, 2008, 10:05 PM

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...........and they conduct Yoga classes on the beach where they run a smoothie bar.

Monday, September 01, 2008, 1:40 AM

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I respect the mind set of not flirting in the gym. Most of the time I stick to myself because im a bodybuilder, but there is this one girl at the gym that I catch looking at me when im either lifting or when im working at the gym. Iv also noticed that she worksout near me alot or she will turn around and look at me when she is working on the opposite machine or she'll will go and do the same machine that i just did a couple mins ago or ill catch her looking at me in the mirror reflection. Im kind of a shy guy and im prolly just reading into these random acts but what are your thoughts?

Sunday, September 14, 2008, 9:47 PM

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to OP:

Approaching someone with a simple, "Hi, how's your workout going?" is a great icebreaker - and it displays a level of sincerity. The rest is up to her. Good luck.



Monday, September 15, 2008, 11:33 AM

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I wrote: How do I ask someone out at the gym - a step by step, how to guide:

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Thursday, April 08, 2010, 9:41 PM

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I think the thing to remember is that women are all individuals. There is no tried-and-true method that works 100% of the time for gaining our interest. It might just be something you'll have to fumble through on your own. Personally, I don't really like being interrupted while I'm at the gym -- actually, I like to pretend no one else is there so I can just do my thing without feeling self-conscious -- but there are probably women out there who won't mind. You just might have to put up with some rejection in order to find them.

Friday, April 09, 2010, 2:45 AM

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Coming From A PT

I'm a 20 year old male PT whose been doing this for a couple years. I work in a gym with many of women and men. I see this happen almost everyday. Guys staring at women while they're running on the elliptical, hoping that one day they will muscle up the courage to even ask her a question.

Don't do it guys. It is just weird. women come to the gym to workout and better themselves. People who make the gym their way of picking up women are just entering a hole that they do not want to be in. Stop staring at them and maybe they will feel comfortable working out around you. Your just creeping them out. I see it EVERYDAY. and EVERYDAY the same guys come in and look for something to look at. its very degrading and awkward. Let the ladies do their thing. if they want you, they will approach you.

and if you seriously do have a problem to where you go to the gym JUST for the women... you really need to get help. i am not even joking seek help NOW cause you will be sucked into a life you do not want to get yourself into. you sick sick sick man.

Friday, July 30, 2010, 5:50 PM

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I've had guys chat me up a little bit at the gym.. He finds an excuse to get near me then pretty much just talk about excercise. Usually in the end I get invited to join some exercise or running club he supposedly belongs to.... It's like this at the end: " a group of us are going running Sat morning if you want to come....."

I thought it was a decent and honest try. But be warned!!! Once ur shot down, go away.

Friday, July 30, 2010, 10:09 PM

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hahaha...you poor thing...do you go out at all?

Saturday, July 31, 2010, 10:42 AM

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hi

Women are highly visual creatures as well. Just in slightly different ways. So if you really want to attract them you must “look” the part of a confident, sexy, and resourceful man.
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Thursday, August 12, 2010, 1:59 AM

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hi

Women are highly visual creatures as well. Just in slightly different ways. So if you really want to attract them you must “look” the part of a confident, sexy, and resourceful man.
Here is a very resourceful link below.

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Thursday, August 12, 2010, 2:00 AM

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Getting Picked Up At They Gym

Not to brag but I get hit on all the time at the gym.

Over the past year I've been able to drop 20lbs and get much more toned. I'm probably in better shape than when I was in high school. The point I'm making here is that I notice a huge difference between the way guys act around me now compared to before.

When guys hit on me it's flattering yet at the same time annoying. I wouldn't mind meeting someone at the gym, but I'm focused. I go to to gym for a workout...that's it. I think guys should take note of whether a girl is social, focused, confused or whatever.

I suppose I could cover up with baggy sweats and long t-shirts, but I'd be miserable during my workouts. I usually have my headphones on which has fortunately cut down on those "hittable" opportunities.Here are some regular approaches that guys use...

When on the treadmill (where you're facing the same direction for a long time) some guys will endlessly prance in front of you (often feigning a cell phone call) until they achieve even the slightest eye contact. And the moment they that get eye contact, you might have well have asked, "Hey, handsome...what are you doing Friday night?". Or even worse is when he stares at you like a wolf as he passes by.

Some must have been watching me and then anticipated when I'd be getting a drink of water....you can see them out of the corner of your eye approaching your really fast and intentionally walk *right* in front of you slowing down and turning towards you. That close, you can see how dilated their pupils are. Some have undoubtedly watched my routine then waited by the door for me to leave. Even though we've never met or been introduced, I've had some approach me from across the gym with big goofy smiles waving "hi". At first, I used to think they were signalling someone else...when I looked behind me, there was no one there or the person behind me was turned away.

In aerobic classes, there have been some guys that go beyond taking a quick peek. While everyone else is exercising in rhythm facing forward he is turned towards me with a solid stare...very creepy. In other classes where there's more free-flowing movement around the room interested guys by the end of class have gravitated towards me. If there is any opportunity for us to cross paths, they typically have this zombie-like stare as though they are trying to impose some kind of mind control.

Everything these days is "Right Here, Right Now". Many others in this forum have commented that the quick-hitter approach doesn't really work for them. I tend to agree. In many of the examples above, the person might not be be vying for your attention your entire workout. But with heavy flirting you're distracted, left wondering when the he'll come back 'round...and wondering whether you'll have to pull yourself out of a very uncomfortable conversation.

It'd be great to be approached in a way where you let me know that you simply exist without any obvious or over-the-top flirting....just walking in the area a few times (over the course of a week or two). Later, drawing minor eye contact without seeming like you're trying to hypnotize me. When finally going for it (i.e. getting the digits), do it in a way where I can bow out gracefully...and yet the both of us can still hold our heads high if/when we cross paths later.

Friday, June 17, 2011, 12:31 AM

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I get hit on at the gym when I feel like I look good and I'm in shape. I have a lot of confidence. If I have on raggy old gym clothes and feel large, I never do!

Friday, June 17, 2011, 9:09 AM

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GREEN LIGHT SIGNS
She wears makeup at the gym. Girls will run their fingers through their hair or flick it from one side to another, do stretching exercises in front of you, move from station to station in a short orbiting path around you. When there are plenty of available treadmills, elliptical machines or sit-up benches, she uses the one adjacent to the one you're using. She literally turns around to notice you. She comments on something inviting you to respond. She smiles at you. The more flirtatious ones will hold a look as they pass by or ask if they can work in with you.

RED LIGHT SIGNS
She is working out with a trainer. She has headphones on. She never speaks to anyone. She’s in the middle of a set. She wears a baseball cap pulled down super low. When finished, she always takes a bee-line path straight for the door. You’ve never established any meaningful eye contact.

YELLOW LIGHT SIGNS
These are not necessarily caution signs but indications that she has you on her radar. If you notice one of these, you should then look for red or green signs. If she senses you’re nearby, she lightly strokes the side of her face closest to you. She talks noticeably louder to others when you’re in the vicinity. When she approaches your area, she stops in front of you and suddenly looks lost or confused. When you walk behind her (e.g. on the StairMaster), she covers her butt. On the surface this might seem like a red light indication, but I’ve had girls do this, who have also given off positive signs indicating they were interested. I can only imagine she feels her backside is one of her attractive features.

Sunday, June 19, 2011, 3:51 AM

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For the previous comment, the last line should read,

"I can only imagine she feels her backside is NOT one of her MOST attractive features".

Sunday, June 19, 2011, 3:55 AM

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men think of the gym as a meeting place

As a woman I personally don't think of the gym as a meeting place. It becomes really obvious though that most men do by the way they check every lady out as they walk into the gym. If we wanted to, we could easily get a date at the gym no problem, but I'm pretty sure we aren't there for meeting guys, just there to get in shape. Women can sense desperation. we can also sense true confidence or plain cockiness

Wednesday, June 22, 2011, 8:55 AM

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