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sad.. let down.. support?

Well I kno this has nothing to do with weight loss, but this whole site has friendly bond type of vibe going, so I'm upset and thought I'd spill.. even thought it has nothing to do with weight loss, it's bringing me down which could lead to getting off track w/ the diet. Me and my boyfriend of a year are in the biggest bind ever, for the first time we haven't talked out our arguement, and were not speaking to each other, it really hurts. We are somewhat in desperate need of money, so my mom and myself have been looking for a job, she finall got hired, well we have a lake trip planned, and basically its from monday-sunday and the school so conviently scheduled my retake on the graduation test for wednesday that i'll b there, since my mom is working I'll have to get a ride w/ my aunt to and from, but she also informed me today I'll have to come home on Tuesday and I won't b back till Thursday.. which kind of defeats the purpose of going to me, and just makes it where I dont want to go at all. I could always take the graduation test during the year but I cant always go to the lake, and now I won't get ot go because of my mom and the test, I haven't been anywhere or done anything this summer, and its my last summer. My goal was to get real tan and loose some weight.. well I was planning on getting the most tan at the lake.. and well quite frankly it looks like niether of the goals is going anywhere.. anyone have some support?

Sun. Jun 24, 2:21pm

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Test VS Tan

Personaly, if you are ready for the test, I would just do it and get it out of the way. You will only be missing a max of 3 days at the lake and if you do go there is still plenty of time to get an ok tan. Remember tanning isn't that good for you anyways. Plus the last few days at the beach can be spent relaxing and not worrying about the test, it will be a nice way to relax and wind down. And dont let yourself down so much, go with the flow, no need to stress.

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 3:56 PM

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I say take the test because it sounds like a pretty big thing to have hanging over your head when you're trying to enjoy yourself. Chances are it will seriously dampen your trip.

I'm guessing you're 18? I'm about twice your age and let me tell you, it is NOT your "last summer"!! They only get better as you have more and more money of your own, if you're smart with it. As for that tan? I've avoided the sun since I was an early teen (family is prone to assorted skin cancers), and my reward 20 years later is that I don't need the botox injections or peels or overpriced firming creams or microdermabrasion that my friends and sisters are all blowing their money on these days. That thousand dollars a year I'm not spending on looking younger goes a long way towards the price of a crazy summer!

And in terms of mroe immediate gratification, if an alternative fun trip doesn't present itself soon, can't you organize one with your friends? Wouldn't that be a whole lot more fun than doing it with your family? I mean you may not have "been anywhere or done anything yet this summer" but geez, it's only June...plenty of time to rectify that.

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 4:24 PM

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Whether or not you take the test, skip the tan. I know you don't want to hear it, but tanning is just plain bad for you.

Keep in mind that you could live to be 85. After about 30 (with 55 years of your life to go!) that sun will start to show up, and it will not be flattering at all -- not just creases and freckles, but moles and liver spots and little greyish crusty growths start to show up all over. Yuck!

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 4:55 PM

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Sweetie, tanning may be bad for you, but it looks good. With your new job, splurge on some tanning minutes and keep your head up. You will do just fine! :) Like the earlier poster said, its not the last summer. Take some of your time and relax after the test is done.

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 5:48 PM

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Even though I'm just a few years older than you (21), take my advice and don't ever tan. It may seem "cool" now, but just wait in a few decades when you have all these wrinkles and age spots, and even worse, skin cancer. Several family members of mine have had skin cancer and even my grandfather (who is of ethnic decent) even died of melanoma two decades ago. I am now diligent about sunscreen use any time I will be outside. People may comment about how pale I am but I don't care.

And this won't be your last after HS is so much better!

Good luck.

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 8:31 PM

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5:48-- Going to a tanning salon is even worse than tanning outside in the sun since you're directly exposed to UV radiation.

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 8:34 PM

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I'm not even that fair skinned, and I'm only 21, and have been tanning for 2 years...and I have had freckles and crow's feet already start to show. I really regret it now. ESPECIALLY don't tan outside, it's much more direct and damaging than a few minutes in a tanning bed, no matter what some people think. I have burned outside after 3 minutes of exposure.

Plus, if you look at all the celebrities right now, pale is definitely in! (Angelina Jolie!)

Sunday, June 24, 2007, 10:17 PM

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There is no such thing as a safe tan. Spend your bucks on a good "fake bake" at a salon. Wear your sunscreen on top. You will surely avoid all the lines, wrinkles, and accelerated aging. You may also avoid dieing at 45 like one of my best friends did.

Monday, June 25, 2007, 9:19 AM

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Your Biggest Concern Is The Tan?

I think that what is needed is a lesson in maturity. Looks are fleeting (including the tan), intelligence and education is a for a lifetime. Take the test ! As for not doing anything for the summer, the reality is your summers are long gone. If you are not going to college or university, then you will probably be getting an entry level job at best, and summers don't exist in the working world.

Monday, June 25, 2007, 9:54 AM

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Maybe I missed something...

.. but I thought the OP's major concern was that she was fighting with her boyfriend and they aren't speaking, It isn't clear from the post as to WHY you are fighting. Is it that he wants to go to the lake and you don't? Or that you want to skip the test and he doesn't think you should?

So it sounds like you have two issues:
1. Shoud you take the test and give up part (or all) of your week?
2. How do you and your BF get on the same page?

As for 1, I agree with most of the other posters, I would take the test becasue Iwould feel guilty otherwise and would not enjoy myself as much at the take. As for 2, not sure, but this needs to be your decision, even if it messes up his plans. A relationship is give and take, take the bad with the good.

Good luck.

Monday, June 25, 2007, 11:23 AM

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Have you looked into bus schedules to/from the lake area? Even if you could just hop a bus back after the exam, that'd give you an extra day at the lake, if your aunt can take you the other way. Also, why can't the trip be rescheduled for a week later, or a couple of weeks later? Can you borrow someone's car for either the first or second half of the trip, eliminating one of the rides you need?

As for you and your boyfriend, if you are having problems with your argument and not talking it out, but instead "not talking," you need to fix that with a phone call or a visit, immediately. Waiting to try and make him be "the one" to give in will just cause you more anxiety. Just go talk to him. At this point, you have nothing to lose (since, if you're not even talking, you really have nothing!)

Monday, June 25, 2007, 2:42 PM

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Also, don't worry about the "last summer" bit - I'm 24, and work full-time, year-round. But, in the summers, I can still eat lunch outside, and go out for happy hours and dinners outside in the evenings. I don't have homework bogging me down, so all of the time that isn't at work is totally free. I can go away for mini vacations any weekend I want. I can lay at the pool every Saturday and Sunday. And, I can take a week of vacation here and there (I get 14 days off over the year - that's 2 weeks (5 workdays in one week) and 4 long weekends, not including holidays that we get off anyway.)

If you put too much emphasis on this being your "last summer," it'll have to be something spectacular, and it's likely that you'll be disappointed. But if you just enjoy it, and have fun when you can, and get out when you can, you'll end up with great memories that last forever!

Monday, June 25, 2007, 2:45 PM

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Poor baby

So your lake vacation won't be quite as long as you dreamed of - most people don't get a lake vacation especially if they are "in desperate need of money". Might want to reevaluate your priorities and entitlement thinking there a bit.

And what is up with the neither of the goals is going anywhere bit? Is there some reason you can't eat sensibly and lose weight at home? And although I don't thinking tanning is a good idea either, don't they have sun in your town? An extra day will totally derail your life? WTF?

Monday, June 25, 2007, 3:30 PM

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3:30--you said it! you hit the nail on the head. i am tired of everyone thinking their little problem is such a big dilemma. Should I take a test that may better my life or should I go to the lake and get that gorgeous tan that's going last three months knowing i can't pay for it? boo hooo!

god forbid anything serious happen to you!

Monday, June 25, 2007, 4:04 PM

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4:04 and 3:30, I couldn't agree with you guys more, but give her a break, she's only 18. I'm sure that you were concerned about things that people would have considered "frivolous" when you were her age.

That being said, OP, there are far worse things than having to cut your lake vacation short, like not graduating. The struggle you're having now trying to find a job just illustrates that. Plus, like everyone else said: this isn't your "last" summer (this is actually my first time in my life working a 9-5, M-F job and I have gotten more sun and had more fun this year than in probably 10 years), you don't need to be at the lake to get a tan or lose weight, and some people don't have a lake cabin they can go to.

Monday, June 25, 2007, 4:42 PM

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