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Kissing

Why do guys on the first date Shove their tongues down a girl's throat? Who told them that was sexy? Or who told them that was the thing to do? I've had this happen to me on a first date twice, once by a guy who was in his early 20s and a guy much older (50's). I knew both of them (worked with one, attended class with another) before going out with them... perhaps this had something to do with it?? I nearly gaged, ugh.

Wed. Jul 11, 3:24pm

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I think they're just both bad kissers! I think that's rather useful information to have after a first date!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 3:29 PM

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ROTFL this has happened to me too - the first time when i was 15, i pushed the guy back and gasped!! i felt embarassed for gasping, but geesh. i've learned to pull back a little at the first lip lock to avoid the tongue action.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 3:29 PM

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I have never kissed a guy on a real first date. When first meeting a guy, sure, but that usually ends in a one-night stand. If a guy is that forward, it means that he knows what he wants, and that is to sleep with you, otherwise he would hold off. These two guys wanted some booty and that was their goal. Sorry :(

Liek Greg Bahrent says, "He's just not that into you".

Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 4:28 PM

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i'm 21 and never been on a date therefore i can' t say i've been through that experience. Unfortunately.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 4:37 PM

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wow im 21 too and never been on a date before either whoooo lol

well if you count having a date to prom, yes then, but i asked him and it wasnt like he was interested in my anyway =P

Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 8:41 PM

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Why haven't you two had dates? Do you consider yourselves too young? Or did nobody ever ask you?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 10:31 PM

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4:28-I don't agree that a man that kisses you on the first date is only into getting some booty (sure some of the time-okay, a LOT of the time! but definitely not always!)-my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, have been living together for more than a year and a half, and we kissed the first night we met.

and he went home after that. we didn't sleep together till about a month and a half later!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 10:59 PM

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to the 10:31 poster....

In response to your question:

I haven't had a date because no one has ever asked me. I don't know why, but i can only imagine.

Wait....i was asked on a date. About 4 times by the same guy. I just never ended up happening. He also ended up breaking my heart. He taold me he liked me, and we talked and saw each other at work for about a year before he asked me for the first time. Then his dad passed away and we postponed it, That one never happened either. Then he quit, but we kept in touch. He asked me out again, and then couldn't make it because he went out of town. Here i was thinking the third time is a charm. Riiiiiight, Then he asked a fourth time, and then never showed up, and turned off his phone so i couldn't contact him. It hurt. Alot. I thought he genuinely liked me. Ok....enough of that. No real dates :(

Thursday, July 12, 2007, 8:56 AM

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Hey, don't feel bad, girls! I'm 20 and I've never been on a date either. And I consider myself a normal, attractive girl. I've had a couple relationships that were quite casual, though, and they never really took me out. Going out on dates is unfortunately becoming a thing of the past. I met both guys just by hanging out with friends and it developed without any formal dating. So just because you aren't getting asked out doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you! I would say most girls don't get asked out, at least not on a regular basis.

Thursday, July 12, 2007, 11:06 AM

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remember the episode of "sex in the city" when charlotte goes on a great date just to have the guy LICK her MOUTH when he kissed her goodnoght? that was hilarious. that was just like my first kiss. i do not kiss any date at all these days until i've gotten to know him a bit more. peoples' mouths are germ infested and sometimes i'm just too grossed out.

Thursday, July 12, 2007, 11:11 AM

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I am down with the not kissing on a first date. maybe just a peck on the cheek? (I have to say that even though I am in my late 20's I tend to be a bit old fashioned when it comes to dating)

Thursday, July 12, 2007, 12:18 PM

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Hey. I'm the other 21 year old (well I should have said I'll be 21 in 2 weeks) who hasn't been on a real date either. I mean in HS, I was so shy and awkward LOL. I mean it's still true but better now. Well, the past 2 years, I have had many guys (I think about 6 so far) have hit on me. But they're completely not my type. For example, most recently, I was walking down the street in front of this random ghetto white guy in his mid to late 20s started talking to me. When he realized I was legal (I look young), he asked me if he could call me yuckkk. Or another guy in his mid to late 20s with long, dirty hair in a ponytail and smoking a cigarette kept asking me if he could call me even tho I kept saying no. And another thing, he never asked for my age (I could very well pass to be underage), so it's like he's a predator! And I could go on with other stories with the creeps who hit on me.

Also, I'm not confident either. I'm not happy with the weight I've gained. I absolutely hate looking at pics of me. But I'm sure once I get rid of this 20 pounds, I'll feel just awesome. I like my inside, but not happy with my outside.

Thursday, July 12, 2007, 8:48 PM

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11:06

That's a bad generalization.

Girls get asked out all the time. I'm 21, and me and my friends date, have relationships, etc.

Maybe nobody considers you "date" material, only good for a casual fling?

Really, no offense, but dating is not that far back into the past.

Thursday, July 12, 2007, 9:16 PM

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9:16

You know what, I think its a bad generalization for you to suggest that I am "only good for a casual fling" because I haven't dated. Everyone has different life experiences, and I will tell you that I am a pretty respectable and dateable young woman, but its hard to meet guys that are really interested in dating. Almost all of my friends have had this experience to some level. I was simply trying to encourage girls who feel like the odd girl out because they don't date.

Thursday, July 12, 2007, 9:23 PM

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i never dated as a way of socializing. i had the experience of meeting guys at school, work, friends of family, community events...and i got to know each boyfriend i've had as a friend before we ever became romantic. when i was in my mid 20's i went on my first, actual date. a guy came into the place i worked and just asked me to have dinner. i was a bit weirded out-i knew NOTHING about this dude. it was awful. getting to know someone over a meal really exposes a lot quickly. he spoke to me with food in his mouth and was rude to the waitress. he grabbed the check from the table after the looooong meal and shoved it into his pants and said, "if you get the check, i'll get the check." (meaning i needed to reach in and get it before he paid.) well, i threw $20 on the table and walked out. i've never tried the dating thing again. i prefer to know a lot about before deciding if we'd make a good couple.

Friday, July 13, 2007, 9:00 AM

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Training helps

So back to the kissing topic! I've actually gotten to the point where, when I think I might actually WANT to kiss someone, I will talk about what I like in a kiss. For example: "I really like it when someone kisses me softly and sensually. When our lips touch gently and then you sink into the kiss like you're melting." I also point out bad kissing experiences I've had in the past: "This one guy, back in high school, just totally stuck his tongue down my throat! No lip contact really. If you aren't touching my lips, it's not kissing, it's licking." Most guys will get the hint, and many will ask for pointers so that they can sculpt their kissing technique to my likes. Ladies, just go ahead and train them! Think of it as community service. ;)

Friday, July 13, 2007, 11:57 AM

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I agree with the above poster. I usually say something like "I find that people usually like to be touched/ kissed the way they touch/ kiss others". I have had a few bad kissers who actually don't turn out to be that aweful because they take my lead and learn what I like. But, I love when a guy has the guts to actually ask what it is that you like - and if he does, TELL HIM!!! He is probably listening at that point - go with it!!

Friday, July 13, 2007, 1:26 PM

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