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My childs weight and Depression

I have a 9 yr old baby girl. I am going to see where I can post her pics on here. She is at 165 pounds. She is so depressed and I cant figure out how to help her. My depression makes me want to give up and just lay in bed and let her stay with me in bed all the time so she wont have to face the way others treat her. She has had so many medical issues since she has been born and then when she was 4 she started gaining and in 1 summer she gained 65 pounds. She has just went up from there. She is my beautiful little girl but she comes home crying because of what the kids say and some adults. I have tried cutting her food intake but she stays hungry and she cries all the time and says she's starving. I tried to get her to dance with me but she cries. I am just ready to give up and dont know where to turn.
I think maybe if I had liked myself more that maybe she would be different to. She has learned this from me. If I cant fix it then I have killed her, her hopes and dreams.Please help me figure something out.
I dont know how to make my pics the size needed


Fri. Jul 13, 11:19pm

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I'm so sorry... I know you are heartbroken for your daughter and want to help without hurting her emotions even more. You are of course doing the #1 best thing for her already, which is loving her for who she is at any size.

I don't have direct experience with this subject, but I would first recommend expert help (such as counseling). My own solutions to big problems always start with reading as much as I can... Here's what I found perusing Amazon:
Rescuing the Emotional Lives of Overweight Children, by Sylvia and Eric Rimm
The Everything Parent's Guide to the Overweight Child, by Paula Ford-Martin and Annelli Vincent
Your Child's Weight: Helping without Harming, by Ellyn Satter
Maybe one or more of these is available at your library.

Good luck to you and your little girl.

Friday, July 13, 2007, 11:37 PM

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I think a rather extensive medical evaluation is in order, if it hasn't been done already. Don't hesitate to ask for financial assistance, fee waivers or whatever if money is stopping you. I'm not really qualified to make any specific assessment but to start at such a young age (4) just makes me very suspicious that something uncommon is involved.

Saturday, July 14, 2007, 1:58 AM

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No offense but I don't think reading self help books is going to be much help.

Please find a doc or a team of docs that will work with you. There has to be an underlying reason for what is going on with your daughter. Do not let her see how upset or depressed you are over it. It could make her feel worse. A few months ago there was a thread on here about a specialized school for overweight children. I am going to to try to find it because it was a great thread. Look into alternative treatments. Docs are docs and specialize in certain areas but alternative could be helpful because they treat the whole body and person. I will look for that and come back to this when i find it.

Saturday, July 14, 2007, 2:33 AM

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Hi. I am 21 years old and I have anxiety and depression. I have had it since I was 11 or so and didn't get diagnosed until more than a year ago. I was slim all my life but put on more than 30 pounds within 6 years.

I don't know what to say, but def go see a specialist-- a medical doctor, psychologist....for the both of you.

In terms of the eating, what you can do is give her filling, nutritious foods high in fiber to fill her up in the mean time. But it could very well be a medical issue as to why she gained so much weight.

Best of luck! It's tough.

Saturday, July 14, 2007, 2:55 AM

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Yes, it sounds like both of you are depressed and you both need help. Depression is an illness and you should approach it like any other illness. Think pneumonia as you are going for care. You probably wouldn't lie in bed with it...you would get help.

Take a first step, maybe ask a good friend, a spouse, or a family member to throw you a rope and help you get out the door to some medical care. Both you and your daughter deserve good health and well being.

Report back here as you take your first steps and we will cheer you on. Remember, you are worth it!

Saturday, July 14, 2007, 8:51 AM

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