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I need a man's opinion!

Hi gentleman, I need your help with my husband. I think watching "adult films" is a wonderful thing a couple can do to spice up the night life. However, I suggested it once to my husband and he called me dirty and other not-so-nice names. I don't want to re-introduce the idea to him for fear of retaliation, but feel somewhat cheated.

Please help me understand why someone isn't interested in enhancing their "viewing pleasure"


Mon. Jul 23, 4:56pm

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Maybe he feels threaten by what you would see in the film? Could it be because of religious beliefs? As long as you both are ok with it--I would think it could be good for a relationship. We all need a bit of adventure in our day in and day out routines!

Monday, July 23, 2007, 5:19 PM

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OP here--no it's not a religious reason at all. that would be an easy answer for me.

Monday, July 23, 2007, 5:22 PM

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It's interesting that you ask complete strangers why your husband does something. Ummm...did you try asking him? Yea that would be a good direction to go in...
Maybe your lack of consideration for his feelings is the reason he retaliates this way. If my wife was relying on complete strangers' opnions on how to deal with things in our marriage, I might be angry and defensive with her too. Just an idea.

Monday, July 23, 2007, 6:43 PM

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Wading in from a non-male perspective here (sorry), isn't the real problem that he called you names for even asking if he wanted to watch it? Wouldn't a simple, "No, I don't like that," suffice?

Sorry 6:43, but I wouldn't pursue it farther with my partner either, if his immediate reaction to a simple question the first time was to go on the attack.

Monday, July 23, 2007, 6:53 PM

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maybe if you started with an all female movie. I think seeing other men in that "way" is a turn off. I don't want to see some other guys penis (especially if it's larger than mine)

Monday, July 23, 2007, 9:12 PM

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There is nothing in the world less sexy than watching a porn with your girlfriend/wife. Here's why-

what a guy is thinking when he's watching a porno with his wife is a combination of:

A- "wow, that scene is really hot, but I don't dare let on that I think it's hot or my wife is going to think I am some sort of pervert."

B: "this is the lamest porno I've ever seen- does she actually think this is hot?"

C: "If I was watching this myself I'd be fast forwarding right to the good parts."

D: "Wow. I never realized how dull porn is if you aren't wacking off"

E: "the porno chick with the big fake breasts is hot, but if I react, my wife is going to think I don't find her sexy."

In other words, while watching porn may seem liberating to you, to the average guy, watching porn with his wife is super constricting.

Monday, July 23, 2007, 10:19 PM

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another female opinion

I think you both need to have a completely open-mind about the whole thing... my husband and I watch porn together, on occasion, to spice things up. I like to see what turns him on or off - I dont live in a closet I mean I know Im not the only woman in the world that turns him on. I am realistic that he is a man and I see no harm in watching this stuff together as long as our sex life is good. I know that if we are both satisfied in the bedroom together, he wont need to go elsewhere. we have fun.. but for OP I think it would be a dangerous idea. If he feels this strongly about it, it will make him super uncomfortable and turn into a fight at the end. just spice things up together starting with open communication about turn-ons etc. talking about sex is super sexy and always turns into fun.. but NEVER be critical of things he tells you in confidence about things.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007, 2:50 AM

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one man's reaction

I have no idea if I'm typical, but it would not have occurred to me that watching pornography together would be an expected activity in a marriage. I'm not shocked that it's sometimes done, but the question seems almost to suggest that marriage without pornography is abnormal.

I guess people can do to suit themselves, but making "spicing up" into an expectation just seems to say that marriage is going to be a state of never-ending sexual competition. I know that's not what I was looking for.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007, 1:13 PM

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competetion???? i dont get that?

Tuesday, July 24, 2007, 1:44 PM

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We totally don't need pronography to spice up our sex life. We are both happy and thats all that matters

Tuesday, July 24, 2007, 3:20 PM

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