EMAIL THREAD

how can I keep from passing on my body issues and food-weirdness to my daughter?

I can't seem to change so how do I not screw her up?

Wed. Sep 12, 12:03pm

Great topic

daughters watch there moms. If they see there mothers staring in the mirror, giving themselves negative self talk and being neurotic about eating, chances are, they will mirror it. Its more about a mother's actions, not her advice.

Try to improve you self-image. Give yourself positive talk.

Both you and your daughter truly deserve it!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007, 12:07 PM

You start by eating foods that are good for you. Limit the amount of "bad for you foods" you keep in the house. Talk about what the other kids at school eat and ask her what she thinks about these foods; educate her on good and poor choices and then follow your own advice. Kids' eating habits are caught more than they're taught, so set a good example. When she makes a bad choice don't belittle her for it or try to make her feel guilty. Also make her aware that these kinds of food are OK sometimes so long as we don't make a habit of them. Kids will be kids and they are going to eat stuff that isn't good for them sometimes (especially when you can't control it). But girls especially seem to want to be thin when they reach the teen years. Help her by providing good solid advice about food and give her plenty of encouragement when she makes good choices.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007, 12:36 PM

When she is old enough take her shopping with you and explain why you are choosing what food. Ask for her input. Find healthy foods that you both love and teach her how to make them. Expirament.
My brother caught me the other day. I have one day a month I can eat what ever I want and I called it a cheat day. He basically said I was implying it was bad. If I am planning it then it isn't bad. So now I call it a free day. It really does make a difference.
The most important thing I think you can do for your daughter is love yourself and love her. I know that sounds- well duh. But what I mean is to embrace who you are now. Imperfections and all, she will pick up on everything you do and say. So NO negative self talk. Instead if she is old enough you can even talk about why you watch what you eat. You want to take care of yourself for her but also for you so you can have the best life you are able.
Even very young children pick up on body issues.
Raising children is difficult, I commend you for caring enough to inquire as to how to help her best. Good for you.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007, 8:35 PM

don't give up on yourself or your daughter will learn a lesson you might not intend for her to learn. you can change, you've just not yet found the way that will work for you. if you "can't seem" to do it for yourself, do it for your daughter. maybe she is the motivating factor that has been missing from your attempts in the past? do you want her to learn that it's okay to mistreat herself as long as she continues to watch out for her loved ones?

Friday, September 14, 2007, 9:55 AM

i'm surprise the op has not commented back yet. she seemed so concerned in the opening post...

Monday, September 17, 2007, 9:26 AM

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