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Eating like a pig
I can't stop eating. I keep coming and going on PT. I have a lot of weight to lose and I am obsessed with food. Food makes me happy, feel good, and is my horrible obsession anymore. I can't wait to eat candy, cookies, anything sweet, nothing heatlhy at all, but anything fast food, etc... I see all the motivating reasons that I should lose weight, but I seem to "forget" those when I am shoving it in my face and eat until I am stuffed and content. If I can, I then take a nap. I am depressed, I eat. I am happy, I eat. Food=comfort. Food=fun. I wish I was one of those people who lost weight when depressed because I would be really thin. I was divorced two years ago and just feel like dating is a lost cause. I am not attractive anymore to myself, so I cannot possibly be attractive to anyone else. I crave so much for someone to hang out with, love me, be intimate with, and see some sort of future with. The kinds of guys that look my way seem to be guys I am just frustrated with because they are nothing I am looking for. It's a vicious cycle, I then get depressed and eat. I am so frustrated. I am an educated, good person. Why can't I get over this and how do you forget about food? What can I do? I can't seem to find a group on PT that works to help me change either. I am very disturbed.
Mon. Oct 8, 7:27pm
get a hold of yourself.
Monday, October 08, 2007, 9:56 PM
A good antidepressant.
Monday, October 08, 2007, 10:03 PM
hope this helps
I was once in that cycle. planned my binges and NOTHING could stop me once I had all my favorite things to eat. I thought I loved it. I thought it was so much fun - I mean it was a love/hate thing/ i HATED that I did it, but at the time I loved doing it.... because I had SO much weight to lose - I always thought, whats one more time of fun! - it was never one last time. but I found out after losing a lot of weight that the feeling I have now.. being healthy, fitting in clothes, not dreading outings, etc. is like a new lease on life - feels MUCH better than the isolated binges I once had. I cant even imagine doing that again (I did it for a LONG time...) I was like you.. I separated frm my hubby, and stayed in the house and only ate. NOw my life is different and I made the choice to change. you can too... it may seem a long way away.... but if you start now and take small steps it will add up. Here's a plan for you:
1. buy Beck's Diet solution book - cognitive therapy steps to change your thinking and do EVERYTHING the book says.
2. design a diet that you can LIVE with. I mean not a deprivation diet. I mean - real meals that taste good - but have a clear end. they will make you feel good and satisfied. make it flexible for wherever you go. you can stick to a portion control diet anywhere. dont be obsessed about calories, etc. . just do portion control now. even if its mcdonalds - eat only a hamburger, small fries or a side salad. just do portion control. once you get into a rythym you will feel good and want to make healthier choices but dont worry about that now. first get into a routin of 3 regular meals and 3 healthy or low cal snacks (snack bags, fruit, cereal bars etc) Stick to the plan. if you really want something remember that you can have it at your next meal. there is always a next meal.
3. start to move. just alittle and keep track of it. even if its just in front of your tv, walking in place or with a board stepping in place for 15 minutes. just start. then walk oustide a little. it will make you feel good. just start slow.
4. get into a good PT group. log EVERY day. EVERY bite. seek support - there are tons of people that can help - and be helped by you! your progress will motivate them as well! make goals and be accountable for them.
you might say, this will take so long. once you start to feel better, it gives you hte mtivation to move on... seeing the scale go down and clothes fitting looser is a total miotivator.
just remember that you CAN do it. its your choice. but you have to start - and stick to it. - starting is the hardest part. make a commitment to yourself that you will do this.
good luck!!!!!! I know you can.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 4:11 AM
4:11 AM!!! you are lovely and this is what the best of community brings. Your suggestions are great.
OP, first of all you did such a great thing. You wrote the truth of your life. You are in a tough place but you are SEEING it and FEELING it and this is exactly where you start. SO you have the first step....and in many ways it is one of the hardest. You have to figure out where you are before you decide where you want to go.
Sometimes it takes just hanging around with people who are living a different existance to get your bearings. You are doing that by coming here and starting. It's all about immersion in other possibilities. At some point you will "get the faith" that you CAN change.
I have another book that has helped me too...Martha Beck's 4 Day Win. She's another PhD psychologist who works with people around creating sustainable habits. It's all about baby steps. So I'd recommend an afternoon at your favorite bookstore looking at both of these books and deciding to read one. I'd also recommend hanging out here and telling the truth of your life.
You HAVE started the journey!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 10:45 AM
That was incredible. You've open my eyes to some of the things i fight with. I am tired of counting calories, counting points, counting carbs, counting fat, counting sodium. I'M TIRED OF WEIGHING MY FOOD! And that's why i don't stick to anything.
I would love to learn more from you because I believe you are truly here to help us out. Would you be willing to share your name and teams you are in?
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 10:53 AM
I am SO glad I could help! I also could never do it if I had to weigh mesure or calorie count - forget it!!! naturally as you go along you want to put better things in your body but its a progression... and I will always eat my favorite stuff - If you start a group, write the name here and I will join (I promise) and we can learn from each other!
I DID learn something from OP - I learned that I don't want to get back there again.... I have been trying to decide what to do with the big clothes. but I am remembering how painful it was to be there and so I will do what I have to to never go back. I am donating the BIG clothes!!!!!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 11:45 AM
to OP and 4:ll You have both brightened my day immeasurably! Thank you. OP sounds sooooo much like me. When I started PT I was just looking for a miracle (sorry I can't spell) Ofcourse I didn't find one, but I did find enough encouragement to start looking for something that would work for me.
What I found was Intuitive eating. It is similar to the Beck info as far as I can tell, but it's the book I could get from the library easiest. (More info on the Intuitive Eating thread)
But the point for you to cling on to is this, there is something out there to help you and there are a lot of people here who want to help encourage you. Something I got from the Inspirational thoughts thread was "Your not beaten until you say you are" and you definately ARE NOT.
Will keep looking for you and look forward to hearing about your progress.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 12:01 PM
OP, it sounds to me as if you are lonely and isolated. As if what food is taking the place of is other people -- family, friends, boyfriend. Aside from all diet advice, if I were you I would work on replacing food with people. For comfort, you should turn to a friend. To share happiness, you should turn to a friend. If you don't have those kind of relationships, work on making them!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 12:01 PM
4:11--i'm game to start a new group. any good group names you can think of?
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 12:08 PM
12:01 here, Can I join the group too? ( PS tell me how if this gets going)
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 12:12 PM
OK i'm starting a group called - "Persistance Pays" not the best name but it'll do the job for now - just getting us together. but only join if you are willing to log every day (unless on vacation).
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 12:24 PM
I was about to start a thread asking if anyone else has been going through this. It seems to be my problem since every single sign fits my behavior. Take a look - Does any of this sound familiar?
Signs and Symptoms of eating disorder:
Fear of not being able to stop eating voluntarily
Self-deprecating thoughts following binges
Withdrawing from activities because of embarrassment about weight
Going on many different diets
Eating little in public, while maintaining a high weight
Believing they will be a better person when thin
Feelings about self based on weight
Social and professional failures attributed to weight
Feeling tormented by eating habits
Weight is focus of life
The only solutions I've found so far is seeking help comprehensive treatment plan involving medical care and monitoring, psychosocial interventions, nutritional counseling and, when appropriate, medication management.
I'm personally trying to solve this matter. I've already contacted a therapist for compulsive addiction. Overeater's anonymous is something I'm looking into also.
Hope this helps
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 12:25 PM
OP, since you are lonely and looking for companionship, I suggest, aside from all of the food information here, that you try to get out and look for friends. If you live in a big city with a good Craigslist network, look there for book groups, knitting clubs, whatever your interest is, or whatever you could stand doing in order to meet new people. Don't use it to try and find a man, just companionship and friendship. If there is no Craigslist, try looking at the local library or YMCA for postings for activity groups. Get out there and put things on your schedule, and meet people. Once you meet a woman or a few who you enjoy talking to, invite them to do something - grap a cup of coffee or a drink, see a movie or show, go to a book reading, etc. Odds are, if they're joining clubs, they're also looking to make friends.
When you're surrounded with friends, you'll become less unhappy. And starting with girlfriends is easier than starting by looking for a man, because girlfriends aren't concerned with how you look, what you eat, etc. You can focus on the friendships, and then you'll have people to call instead of sitting at home and eating. As this continues, it should be easier to get into shape and feel more desirable. Then worry about the man.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 12:59 PM
You guys are being so supportive of one another. It makes me feel good! So much of the time, I read these threads and some jerk comes along and just says mean things. I'm glad that you reached out and found some people w/ good, solid advice and support.
OP - I hope you can find a couple of good groups and teams to join to help you stay on track. I've lost 60 pounds (about 20 away from my goal) since the beginning of the year by following weight watchers and exercising. The things that have helped me the most have been:
1. setting small goals (sometimes it's just to get through the day following my plan) instead of focusing on the big picture
2. giving myself lots of non-food rewards for achieving goals or for persisting even if I don't achieve them (colored foil stars on my calendar, going to a movie, taking a bubble bath, etc)
3. logging on here daily, writing down everything I eat, and being active in my groups and teams
4. reminding myself that every single meal or snack is a new opportunity to make healthy choices (I used to just throw the diet out the window if I messed up a meal by eating too much, but now I just let the past be in the past and move on to healthier choices next time)
Best of luck to you!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 2:50 PM
well said 2:50! Great advice. I hope you can join our group--you'd be a great one to have.
I hear you about mean people. I started a thread and some jerk comes along and gets snotty in there. why do people have to be rude?
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 3:50 PM
OP here... Thank you guys so much. Except for the rude person who left the "Get a grip on yourself" comment. LOL. I really appreciate the feedback and would like to join a group with a few of you nice posters, but am not sure they aren't already full! :)
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 4:32 PM
not yet, check us out!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 4:39 PM
I typed in Persistance pays and got no results. Where else do I look for you?
Tuesday, October 09, 2007, 5:12 PM
i checked this morning and unfortunately it's full. but please keep looking in case someone drops out. it's a great group with LOTS of support!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 9:27 AM
any chance you could start it as a team? More people could join then.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 10:31 AM
that's a great idea. i'll ask the gal that set up the group.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 10:43 AM
Thanks, The help on really positive people is vital to success. Are you all using a certain plan?
Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 12:50 PM
it tends to be more beck's diet, but i don't follow that yet.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 3:31 PM
I have to tell you a positive thing that happened to me today. I had been up working all night and was needing some breakfast and some gas for the car. At McDonalds I got a sausage McGriddle and then at the gas station I got a BIG donut. I only ate half of each and threw the other half away. It was great. I didn't feel stuffed, nor deprived. I'd had what I wanted and enjoyed it but when I'd had enough I was done. What a change from wolfing it all down before anyone could tell me not to.
Hope you all have a great day.
Thursday, October 11, 2007, 8:06 PM
Last poster! That is awesome. I want to be able to do that! :)
Thursday, October 11, 2007, 9:43 PM
8:06 here, I am actively looking for someone to do intuitive eating with me. It has been so freeing for me. I can't express the hoplessness I was feeling about my weight and my yo-yo dieting. (I guess down 30 and up 40 in one year is yo-yo! LOL)
9:43, thanks for your encouragement. There is an old thread called Intuitive Eating 2 that has some other things from IE on it.
I'm so glad that I found such a positive thread to visit daily. It is great to know that as long as we don't give up we will succeed. Let's Go!
Friday, October 12, 2007, 1:25 PM
Is OP still hanging out here?
Friday, October 12, 2007, 1:26 PM
Yes, OP is hanging! :) It's me!!
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 8:21 PM
OP, Have you decided what you want to try? Are you in a group? I found a group that seems like it is going to work. We are exploring the intuitive eating book. I think Beck does the same type things with different methods. I never realized how hard I have to work to say positive things. That is an eye opener.
One of the inspirational slogans I liked when I went to Weight Watchers was, "Eating is not a hobby, nor is it to be a recreational sport."
Hope you are having a great day. Check in again soon. AE
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 8:32 PM
Yes, I am in one group. I would enjoy a group such as the one mentioned.
Sunday, October 14, 2007, 9:31 AM
can you tell me how to put the link on here? I'm still learning.
Sunday, October 14, 2007, 5:17 PM
in the "post a comment" window, type the www address in the place where it says "associated URL" good luck!
Sunday, October 14, 2007, 5:28 PM
how do I know what the www. address is?
Sunday, October 14, 2007, 5:45 PM
I don't know if this is quite right, but here goes. We'll see if it makes a link.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 5:16 PM
wooo hooo! Aren't I a smart girl? Just think, today making a link, tomorrow losing weight!
Hope you all are having a great day and thanks for your patients.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 5:18 PM
OP and all,
I have felt like you before. A few year ago, I was huge and really feeling low. I made certain decisions that I didn't want to be that person anymore and really started making life decisions. Set your goals. Find ones that really matter. And find ways of sticking to them. We deceive ourselves most frequently when we set a goal and then do not follow through. It is my current issue, follow through. Try to look at Body for Life for Women. It has a lot of techniques on goal setting.
I will write more later.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 7:35 PM
I had to log off and get back on a different computer. Sorry.
OP and others, It is so wonderful that you are truthful about what is going on with you. We all deal with food issues, otherwise we would not be here at PT. You might look at the success stories and spotlight people on PT for encouragement. We all are in this weight loss thing together.
Take whatever advice seems right to you from these comments, use it, set your goals, be truthful and honest and committed to yourself. Get into a weight watchers, OA, TOPS, a church group (great for meeting other singles) or other person to person group (or a club of shared interests), and start finding other things to do instead of eating. There are so many wonderful things to do that we miss by staying home by ourselves, eating. No one else is responsible for your behavior or your choices. Only you can make your own future.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 8:11 PM
some people can be so insensitive. I am appologizing for their ignorance.
Sometimes it takes the time to be right to be ready to lose weight. Depression in a tough thing to get through when you're depressed about what you think makes you "happy." My advice to you is to try to think of another activity other than eating that you can look forward to and occupy your mind when you are not truly hungry, just bored or want that oral fixation. Like knitting, or sudoku. Go for a walk. Keep gum and mints around to keep your mouth busy when you want to put empty calories in it. Brush your teeth after every meal so that the food you think you want wont taste as good if you do eat them. Another suggestion is to drink more water. If im wrong, forgive me, but i bet you dont get enough h2o in your body every day. try to drink one glass of water before and after every meal. It sounds like a lot but it helps to fill you up before hand and flush out the sodium and all that causes cravings in the first place. AND you will get at least 6 of the 8 glasses you should be drinking per day anyway.. and just try to squeeze the other 2 in there somewhere. I really hope this helps, and im sorry if it sounds as if im preaching. I'm also giving this advice to myself. :0)
Heres a few quotes to live by:
"a second at the lips is a lifetime on the hips"
"nothing tastes as good as thin FEELS"
Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 10:13 PM
Thanks to10:13 who really has the hang of what PT is supposed to do. In my case, weight loss is 90% mental. Not that I have any deep seeded issues, it's just that it takes a lot of work to lose weight, you have to learn a lot of new things and it takes COURAGE to admit you need help and need to keep trying at something that has thus far managed to kick your butt.
OP I hope your still here and still looking for what will work for you.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 4:56 PM
there's now an opening in "peristence pays" come join us!
Thursday, October 25, 2007, 8:31 AM
"persistence pays" - sorry!
Thursday, October 25, 2007, 8:32 AM
OP here... I am trying to do slimfast. Weird I know, but I am doing something and it is working so far. I am dong the shake for breakfast and lunch and then a sensible dinner. I am doing okay so far. I am working out now a little bit too. Just joined the gym! Thanks everyone except for the "GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF" idiot. :)
Thursday, November 01, 2007, 9:40 PM
How's the SLimfast going? That stuff used to always make me sick. Maybe if I'd made my own version of it and didn't get so sick, I could've stayed with that kind of program. drinking 2 meals is much easier.
Friday, November 02, 2007, 9:44 PM
I dont know..... for me it would never work. I needed to find a solution that I could live with always... then the weight starting melting off and I can sustain that way of life forever with the occasional indulgence.
if it works for you GREAT. i wish you the best.
Sunday, November 04, 2007, 12:56 PM
we have another opening in "persistence pays"!
Friday, November 09, 2007, 2:03 PM
I'm glad the slimfast is working for you! I tried it last year and it worked at first, but the shakes are *so* sweet and chocolatey or mocha-y that it just made me crave sugar and sweets more! I couldn't stop thinking about sugar!
I found by making my own plain yogurt and frozen fruit shakes that I didn't crave sugar as much and I felt much more full.
Friday, November 09, 2007, 2:36 PM
Slimfast stopped working once I started working out. I was crashing big time!
:( I am now trying to adopt regular foods, just healthy versions.
Friday, November 09, 2007, 9:59 PM
I know exactly how you feel. Nothing brings me happiness like food does. I want to find something healthy that brings me that same feelingl
Monday, November 19, 2007, 8:51 PM
If you find a passion, something you're really interested in, it might help take teh focus off food and let you concentrate on something else for a while.
Monday, November 19, 2007, 9:54 PM
we have yet another opening in "persistence pays" there are 3 of us who post and log regularly. if you are an active logger, come join us!
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