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Do you appreciate being told that you need to lose weight?

My friend thinks that he's doing another one of our friend's a favor by telling her the "truth" that she really needs to lose 20 pounds to look as good as she wants to look. She complains a lot about her life and he thinks he's right by saying something because no one else will and she needs to hear the truth. I know I can't stand when people point things out about me but I also know that when something is pointed out, if I feel the same way, I do start to make changes. I hope that her feelings weren't hurt, I don't know if they were or not. Now I feel a little awkward, like I want to say something.

Wed. Oct 10, 12:03am

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even subtle hints are a pain. A friend recently gave me a book that she "found interesting"

Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 12:09 AM

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I think more often than not it doesn't go over well, but there are enough exceptions that this isn't a totally simple question. I've never received that kind of comment myself on the subject of weight, but on other topics, I've had situations where I was glad to get the straight scoop even though it plainly implied people finding fault with me, as well as the other kind where I felt unable to really deal with the remark even though it probably had some merit.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 12:55 AM

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I think that is one of the most painful things a person can do to you.
Even if you have lesser amounts to lose than some. We as women are so critical of our bodies as it is, when anyone comments on a flaw it can be very uncomfortable. When a man comments on the need for weight loss it can totally ruin our self imagae.
I personally have fought for years to overcome what people have said to me. But the most painful were those spoken by men, well meaning men.

I don't know if I would bring it up to a friend if I knew someone were to say something to them about their weight. It is a very touchy subject.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 1:40 AM

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No, he shouldn't say anything to her about her weight. Maybe she's too thick for HIS tastes but nearly every woman is attractive to some guy out there. If he's really her friend then he just needs to be a good listener for her. In return, he can gripe to her when he needs to also. Honestly, some men need to stop trying to tell others what to do and just learn to listen.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 12:15 PM

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I think that most people already know that they weigh more than ideal (if they do).

OTOH, there are some areas in which I'd like better feedback. For instance, I give public lectures. I honestly sometimes have no idea whether it was working or not. And everyone always says, "Great talk!!" I have sat through some absolutely TERRIBLE lectures and seen other people go up to the lecturer and say "Great talk!!" I'm paranoid that I could be giving a terrible presentation and everyone's just trying to be nice to me. So I'm not entirely adverse to honesty!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007, 12:50 PM

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