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OT, Totally OT - I HATE MY HUSBAND

I really do. I hate everything about him. Why am I still married to him? Because we've only been married a year, together for nearly 5. I realized recently that I absolutely despise him.

He's a slob, self centered, a liar, arrogant, basically a piece of sh*t.

Where do I go now?


Thu. Oct 11, 7:15pm

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But do you really love him? If not, end things now before you get in too deep (i.e. kids, home, etc...) You say you've been together for 5 years. So obviously you didn't get married on a whim.

If you do love him, you must learn to work on your marriage! Too many people divorce too quickly/easily!

Having said that, you don't want to live in misery either!

It's your call, we cannot make that decision for you.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 7:38 PM

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I hate my husband too. He is very lazy and will push me to my limit before helping with the household/our children. And in some areas, doesn't even help at all. I don't divorce him b/c I can't survive on my salary alone. Plus, my children adore him so I "do it for them". If you don't have kids, the time to flee is now.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 7:46 PM

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Some comments for both women who hate their husbands:

1. Is there a way to work it out so that you will both be happy? Counseling might help you figure this out. If there is a way, you should give it a shot.

2. If there isn't a way, get out of the relationship. You are miserable and life shouldn't be like that. You might plan it out first (especially for the 7:46 poster who has kids) ... plan out your financial and career options, how to deal with the kids, etc ... before making a move.

3. Don't stay with someone for purely financial reasons. You might not think you can survive on your salary alone, but often you can ... if you're willing to scale down and cut back. Simplifying your life and your finances can be very liberating. And if you really can't survive on your salary alone, consider a new job. It's possible, but you have to be willing to take action and take chances.

4. Don't stay with someone just for the kids. I did that. It doesn't work. You will be hugely unhappy, and the kids will sense it, even if you fake it. And they'll be unhappy. That's not good for anyone.

All that said, I think the 7:46 poster might be able to work it out with her husband ... if the only problem is laziness. Counseling could work if he's willing to give it a try. But you need to talk to him.

To the OP, it sounds like you want out. If you don't think it can work, so that you're both happy, get out ... there's nothing that says you can't get a divorce after 1 yr of marriage. Don't worry about what others will think ... worry about your happiness.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 9:32 PM

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OP, where do you go now? Marriage counseling.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 9:43 PM

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I have learned that you both don't need to go to counseling to make a difference. Even if one person goes (in these cases, the wives) it can make a BIG difference. Whether it helps you decide what to do, learn your role in the negative dynamic, figure out who you are, or figure out how to take care of yourself - go. In fact, I actually recommend going by yourself first.

Everyone deserves to be happy and everyone deserves better.

Thursday, October 11, 2007, 9:45 PM

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