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What I want from my group...
I know we all use PT differently and all want different things. I want my group members as motivation (as in, hey, you did great, way to go!) or to be there if I have a question. I do NOT want them reading my diet and commenting on what's wrong with it.
Just in case you were wondering, nameless groupie :)
Fri. Oct 12, 5:08pm
Feel the same way!! I am here for support not to be criticized!! If they were so good about staying on plan than they would not have to be part of PT would they!! I have left a few groups for this reason.
Friday, October 12, 2007, 5:15 PM
So if you don't stay on your plan but don't want anyone to call you out on it what is the point??
Honestly, I'm just asking, not being rude.
Friday, October 12, 2007, 5:18 PM
I am completely honest in my logging and I am looking for both support and advice. So make recommendations. I do not take anything as a criticism, I just take it as input and try to give the benefit of the doubt that people are tring to be supportive.
And yes, once in a while I need a kick in the butt. But truthfully, I have never had anyone be anything but supportive. I may not agree but I don't take any advice as a negative.
I have learned so much from my fellow groupies.
Friday, October 12, 2007, 5:30 PM
I think if you are going to be in a group you better expect that they will read your log. I do because it gives me ideas. I have one lady in a group that cooks so differently from me that I get curious and have gotten some great recipes from her. If I never read her log I would never know.
I expect others to read my log and if I wanted it private I wouldn't have joined a group.
I personally do not want critisism (sp sorry)
I want encouragement. I need encouragement. I beat myself up enough and I don't have any reason to.
Thankfully I am in groups that all of them are kind and encouraging. And understanding.
I find that just logging and knowing others will see it is enough to keep me on track.
Friday, October 12, 2007, 5:55 PM
I try to give encouragement as much as possible. But occasionally I do chastise groupmates when they go for days without eating any fruits or vegetables. I try to prod gently, but they need to be called on it. PT is a place to learn as well as get support.
Friday, October 12, 2007, 8:17 PM
maybe groups should establish some type of guidelines or compact within the group establishing what the expectations for comments are
personally, I am quite moody and I can be either very sensitive to criticism or steel myself and realize I need a kick in the butt...if I'm in mood a, an unasked for comment about eating a brownie or not eating fruits and veggies when I'm having an incredibly stressful week might just send me over the edge...
but if I'm logging and I am not losing and I ask for input, then I am ready to receive the criticism and it might actually be useful
(vs my angry, defensive reaction to a)
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 1:01 AM
I guess Im a litte on both sides.. we all need encouragement were human, but I also love the accoutability of pt..I am the first to say if you see something in my logs or if Im slacking call em on it.. thats why Im here. to get support and give support and also get my butt kicked if needed.
I am one of the first to comment on logs and give encouragement and praise.. but I also if I see something I think someone should be called on I will do that to.. like for instance someone is not feeling well and they walk a mile.. I will say way to go .. even feeling bad you exercised! way to go!
but if somoene is feeling find health wise and just not WANTING to exercise.. I will gently remind them they need to exercise.. I wont say get off your a$$ you lazy cow, but I will say hey girl where was your exercise today.. but I will also comment if her foods were good so it may read.. you made great food choices today.. but you need to get that exercise in...
chances are they are allready thinking that anyway.. we all know we have to do things we dont want to do to succeed on this journey, but we have to MAKE ourselves do it.
so I do both, but I guess its all in the approach and wording.. you have to use tact and not criticize and be harsh, but just small suggestions here and there sometimes gives people the extra push they need..
so I guess I do both, but all of my team and groups thank me so I guess Im not out of line..
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 2:50 AM
The whole point of joining a group is to give and receive support. Try to think of it as constructive critisism. If you hired a personal trainer he or she would kick your a$$ if you strayed. This is free ! ! ! Stand up and be accountable, isn't that why we would sign to a group anyway.
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 8:29 AM
I want encouragement, and if I'm slacking, I have no problem with someone pointing it out. Maybe it will get me back track.
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 10:41 AM
2:50 poster here.. well I posed the question to my groups and teams if they considered things I have said out of line.. so far all have said that Im supportive and encouraging even when I tell them something about thier logs..
I like to shoot straight from the hip , but I get my point across without being critical.. we dont need to feel like were being picked on, but I want my team and group mates to kick my butt if they see me slacking. good thread guys.
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 10:44 AM
See I would probably find a comment about lack of veggie eating to be very annoying and I might even leave the group for that. I think if a member asks for help thats one thing, but to just tell them to shape up is not okay
Just my opinion
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 4:05 PM
250 again here.. I understand some feel the way you do 4:05 thats the reason for this thread is to get different opinions and views of all sorts..
one thing I love about my groups and teams we all keep after each other if we have certain weaknesses.. like water I cant stand it ,but I know its good for me.. or if I skip breakfast .. some in my teams will tell me not to be skipping breakfast. I see it as ahelpful suggestion.. not a criitisim.. Im here to be held accountable thats what the peer in the name peertrainer means to me is to get support, give support and be accountable for my actions to and by my peers
like I said thats what it is to me, but we all think differently.. I wish you all continued success in your journeys .
Saturday, October 13, 2007, 5:41 PM
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