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Do you ever tell someone they're eating too much?

I see logs of some of my groupmates and think, if they're ever going to lose the 30 pounds they claim to want to lose, they better curtail the eating. I love when I read, I didn't eat that much so I'm not sure why I'm not losing. It's right there in the details. How honest does someone really want you to be with them?

Mon. Oct 22, 12:06pm

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I am sure if you were to look at my log you would tell me I am eating two much. But you also don't know what the other factors are, how hard I am working out, or any medical issues I have, now if you know all of that, I would think of asking what other factors are going on that are making you want to eat? I just think loosing weight is a whole life thing, that eating and food is just one very small part.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 12:15 PM

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Nope - I only focus on changing my own behavior. I might make a suggestion to others that they spend a few days religiously measuring portions and tallying up the calories, but only if asked. That's usually pretty illustrative - much more so than a mini-lecture from me would be.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 12:23 PM

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I think if someone has posted the question, "I'm not eating much, why aren't I losing weight?" I might comment to them that the calories in their food choices may be higher than they realize, and try to suggest some alternatives. If they were receptive, then maybe I'd say more, but that's as far as I'd go without being invited.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 1:37 PM

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I wanted to yesterday as I watched the overweight gal next to me eat an ENTIRE pizza, but who knows if she's trying to lose weight!

I do want honesty. Even if I'm aware of it myself, sometimes it takes that observation from others to make me go ''re right. I can't claim to be 'trying' to lose weight if I keep eating like this.' I think I sometimes get in that mode that if no one else notices, it must not be so bad - it's called denial! And you know, some people really have little concept of portion sizes or calories.

But, since everyone has different feelings on the matter maybe it would help to pose a question to the group - do you want random feedback on your logs or do you only want input when asked?

Monday, October 22, 2007, 2:12 PM

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2:12pm again

I should add, that it would be rude, cruel, and completely inappropriate to say anything to a stranger - I just thought those evil thoughts in my head yesterday. More than anything I was just sad - it's like witnessing someone feeding their addiction, and who knows, maybe it was her only meal of the day.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 2:15 PM

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I have this in my profile, just because I like to make sure that it's pretty clear!

I expect people to call me on my shit, and I will do likewise when asked. This is supposed to help us, and sometimes support means telling us what we don't want to hear or won't admit to ourselves, along with encouragement.

- Hussy

Monday, October 22, 2007, 3:53 PM

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I always want to tell my brother he is eating too much. He is 6'5 and weighs 260. It may not seem so bad yet, but it will eventually get out of control. I acutally tell him all the tie he doesnt need ot eat 4 Eggos for breakfast, or pizza everyday as a snack. I try...i truly do. Does he listen? No. I just don't want him to be like me in the near near future. I don't want him to become depressed because of his weight or have kids pick on him.

I think of him everyday and wonder if he will ever understand.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 4:15 PM

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First, I am not one who wants others to call me on anything. I know what I am eating and if I should or not.
As far as others go, every person that I have talked to about dieting, face to face, not here on peertrainer because the issue has never come up, when someone draws attention to something I am already VERY insecure about all it does is make me want to hide and not alone. With me comes my friends. Potato chips, pizza, get the idea.
We all have our own demons we have to fight and the timing is different for everyone. It has taken me years to come to the point where I am ready to face myself and the food and the issues that made food my hiding place. In the midst of that you have to remember that people can be very fragile. I have others around me who are not in that place yet. And feel guilty because they are not following my careful diet. I help them as much as I can but also try to encourage them that everyone comes to it in their own time. If you try and succeed for even one meal you are doing better than the day before. Guilt is always a destructive force.

It seems an easy question to ask but you have to remember we are complex people and individual. Just because one person wants a harsh wake up call, you do that to the next person, (me) and I would quit peertrainer.
I have to say too that I am so blessed to have found groups on here where my peers are kind and encouraging. It has been a great help to me.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 4:44 PM

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I have never / would never tell a stranger on line, but eating with my Mom the other night I did for the first time. She is very compulsive and was eating like there was no tomorrow, it was hard to tell her, but harder to watch her kill herself with food. She said OMG you are right and got up and left the table, no hard feelings or upset words, she said later she didn't even realize what she was doing like she was in a fog or something.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 6:22 PM

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I once had my sister-in-law (who I barely knew at the time) say: wow! that's a lot of butter! - as I was putting butter on my waffle. To her perhaps it was, but I like it that way and I realized right away she was implying that the reason I'm overweight is because I use too much, eat too much, etc. She has no idea, but I found it very judgmental and was greatly offended. So, no, I would never comment on anyone's food amount except for my children who are my responsibility. I think it's easy to look at others and think you know why they are overweight, but I know a lot of people who are thinner than me and eat way more than me. Perhaps they exercise more, or have a faster metabolism. The point is that you can't really judge someone's weight issue on their food intake and say that is their problem; especially when a perfectly 'fit" person can eat that same amount of food and be "fit". The only reason you think the food amount is the problem is because the person is overweight. Everyone's different. Odds are you wouldn't say/think that if the same food intake was being applied to a thin person.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 8:39 PM

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