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How happy are you with your relationship?

Are you in a relationship that you feel is "healthy"? Do you truly love your significant other? Do you feel loved?

Is it possible to have a perfect relationship? Or at least one close to perfect?

I'm asking this because I'm seriously examining my relationship, my marriage. All I know is I'm not happy. I'm not satisfied. I don't feel loved. I don't know if I'm willing to work on it and I feel like I'm staying for security, especially since we have a child together. I think both my husband and I have been going through the motions, but really how long can we do that?

So, are these feelings normal and this is just the way most marriages are? Or am I missing out on something great?

Wed. Nov 7, 8:02pm

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I have the best hubby in the world. I married my best friend at the age of 19. I would rather be with my husband than any other person on the planet.

You should go see if you could go to therepy.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007, 8:05 PM

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I am in the best relationship I've ever experienced. I feel loved, valued, cherished, listened to, repsected, trusted, pretty, witty and wise ;-) I can count on one hand the number of times we've fought, not diagreed, but fought. Why? Because we truly listen to each other and respect each other's thoughts, values and opinions. We are kind to each other - each one always thinking of the other. We are devoted to each other - we set aside time each week to be romatic and that time is sacred. We find each other sexy and say so. I want to be a better person for him and he for me and the result is that our relationship benefits.

Freaked me out when we first started seeing each other - I couldn't believe a relationship that good could just happen - natural as breating, but 7 years later it is just as wonderful as it was then. I thought after a couple years we'd pass the honeymoon phase, but that's not happened so far.

Something this good is worth seeking. You may be able to find it with your current partner, you may not, but understand you are the key to your own happiness - not him. Until you are happy and confident in who you are, what makes you happy and what you need in life - it will be hard for you to find happiness with others. I had dated literally hundreds of guys and finally took a 2 year break to clear my head and focus on where I wanted to be in life and sure enough - as soon as I found some clear direction and was happy with myself, being on my own, and what I was doing - he merrily walked into my life and upended it all. But that time I was ready for it because I knew what I wanted and wasn't willing to compromise that. I've never had to, we compliment each other, we don't conflict.

It is definitely worth talking to a therapist if you have some introspection to do. That outside, objective opinion can be very illuminating.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007, 8:31 PM

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Though therapy can be expensive it's worth looking into. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship but we have gone to therepy a few times when we had an issue we just couldn't resolve without some help from an outside perspective.

Less expensive is a relationship book. My friends make fun of me for reading these but I find they help a lot. One I recommend is "The 5 Love Languages" I forget who the author is. My husband and I read it together when we first got married (I read out loud while he rubbed my feet!) We learned that we definately have different ways of expressing love. He was doing all this stuff (doing dishes, organnizing things, paying bills) to show he loved me and I just wanted him to sit down and spend time with me.

Anyway, I wish you the best. Everyone deserves to be in a relationship they find fulfilling.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007, 9:27 PM

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Thanks for the insight everyone. I'm glad to get some great advice and not get "flamed". I like the idea of taking a look at myself; am I confident, do I love myself, that really opened my eyes. I guess it's not up to my husband to make me happy.......I need to start with myself.

How do I cope with the relationship and where on earth do I start with "myself"?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007, 9:33 PM

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the best thing is to go outside your comfort zone. try some new things. mix it up. have fun with it. try something new every week. something that stimulates some conversation, some passion. see how they are in a different environment and how you are. it is a big world and you are so lucky to have someone to explore it with. you may be surprised by what you find out about your community and yourselves. good luck, k

Wednesday, November 07, 2007, 9:57 PM

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