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Getting Your Husband To Lose Weight
guys are a little different when it comes to weight loss, but this team is here to encourage the husbands to join the wives in the effort. Click on the link below to join- and make sure to invite the husband!
Does anyone have any good suggestions for getting the men to make some changes? do you have to make them for them?
Wed. Nov 7, 8:42pm
this is coming from a man him self ladie you must cook heathly meals at home and confront him and tell him your worryed about his health and would like him to give this eating right a try reason with him. stop buying chips and other junk forthe house instead buy fruits and other heathly foods
Wednesday, November 07, 2007, 10:51 PM
When I first started losing weight 10 years ago (I lost about 90 pounds in a year) I made lifestyle changes which meant my family was going to also since I did all of the cooking. Try making small changes that he won't even notice at first, use Turkey Italian sausage in pasta sauces instead of regular, make ground turkey meat loaf, tacos, burgers etc. We never have beef in the house anymore and not one person complains. Use reduced fat sour cream or use cottage cheese to top the potato, use fat free shredded cheese for delicious casadiallas (SP?) don't use butter, sprinkle parm shaker cheese on your veggies, it's good. Drink carbonated flavored water instead of soda. All these little things add up and since he's a man, he WILL lose weight just from these changes.
Thursday, November 08, 2007, 10:33 AM
maybe in more "traditional houses" this would work but not for me. My husband is not over weight 190 at 6"1. but we shop and cook together. I buy whole wheat, he also buys a loaf ofwhite. I buy reduced fat cheese and sour cream he buys full fat. He started making sweet tea at home, and I beg him to use splenda instead- but he wont. Most nights we cook seperate food, b/c he wont eat any of the healthy things I cook. He does keep chips and candy in the home. He doesnt eat a ton of it- so always gets defensive if I mention anything to him.
His dad dies at an early age from a stroke, but I still cant get him to even take a cholesterol test (he doesnt like needles).
We had a it full out at the doctor's office b/c the doctor wanted to take the test and he wouldnt let it happen. He swears that hisfather ate more fat- pork rinds, etc. But he looks just like his dad did. Lanky arms and legs with a little pot belly.
We have been married for less than I year. We met a little over two years ago and I gained 30lbs right away b/c I was eating with him.
I have taken back control of my body and eating, but what about his being unhealthy?
at what point am I being a "controlling wife" verses a caring one?
PS- I hate to nag!!!!
Thursday, November 08, 2007, 11:22 AM
I am losing weight myself. I joined weight wathchers 7 weeks ago and have eliminated unhealthy food from the house. I feed my family what I eat. I make low fat and calorie recipies from the weight watchers cookbooks that are truely good. I know this because my husband goes back for seconds and thirds!!!!!! He has told me that he wants to lose weight. He weighs 300 pounds and has low self esteem partly due to his weight. He has asked me to help him and to remove unhealthy choices from the house. I have done that and now he always complains that there's nothing in the house to eat and sneaks fast food and says that he can't lose weight until he joins a gym (which we don't have the money for). Do I just consider him a lost cause?
Thursday, November 08, 2007, 12:19 PM
In my experience, you can do all you can to enable him to lose weight and get healthy, but it's up to him to make his own effort. My ex was 270lb and 5'7" and *said* he wanted to get in shape. So I cooked healthy for the both of us and suggested walks every day. Whenever it came time to be active, he would have an excuse (he needs new shoes, it's raining out, he doesn't want to walk around here but over there, etc etc). And of course with my healthy meals he went back for third and fourth helpings because it was good for you (that was his reasoning.) I stopped cooking so much, just so he wouldn't have the option! Then after dinner he would say "where's dessert? That wasn't enough food!" Within a few more weeks he was back to eating pizza and wings for dinner and let me cook for myself.
I did everything I could, but in the end it was up to him. I broke up with him about a month after he gave up.
Thursday, November 08, 2007, 1:16 PM
1:16- was that a husband or boyfriend?
Thursday, November 08, 2007, 2:23 PM
A boyfriend. We were together two years, and the last six months of the "we'll try together" routine was the last straw. Once I found out that he didn't honestly want to make the effort and it was just me trying, I lost a lot of respect for him.
Thursday, November 08, 2007, 2:27 PM
The honesty thing to me is the worst. You're better off with out him. My ex-boyfriend would keep lying to me about going to work/ school. If they dont want to be successful you cant make them.
Thursday, November 08, 2007, 2:42 PM
As soon as I mentioned getting healthy and losing weight, my husband was already a step ahead of me! When we started dating, my husband was 187 lbs. @ 6' tall. I was 177 lbs. @ 5'-6. Now, after 7 years together, he's 160 lbs. and I'm 148 lbs. I could have never done it and made all of these lifestyle changes without him! I always let him know about new things I've read in the health area. We are committed to having a long and healthy life together!
I don't know how to "make" a husband lose weight. I just know you have to be on the same team. Not made to feel bad. Maybe you can sit down and make a choice together. I consider my marriage a team in everything we do, and if one of us really wants to do something, we talk about the pros and cons together. Losing weight and getting healthy were all pros (except for the more expensive grocery bill)!
Good luck to all of you!
Friday, November 09, 2007, 11:48 AM
I'm with you 11:48. When I decided to make changes, I talked with my husband about what I was going to do. He was the one who initially started looking for healthy recipes (until I caught the cooking bug and began making most of them up), he loves my healthy cooking, he preps veggies for me, helps me plan meals, helps me keep the kitchen and house clean (cause let's face it I use a lot of extra dishes these days since we pack lunch and don't eat out of cartons), he goes out and runs rain or shine (I think he even goes on days the mail man can't make it) and he is always up for anything active, interesting and fun. I can't tell you how much that has helped me accomplish my own goals.
I would never have been able to do this without him and I don't know if he feels the same or not, but I try to do the same for him. I love my healthy lifestyle, but after a hard day It is so tempting to give in to convenience and junk food and laziness, but he keeps me going and I try to keep going for him as well.
But make him want to do this? I can't think of a good way to do that, and I'd feel funny about it if I had to. If we had talked about it and come to an agreement and he reneged on it day after day while I stuck to it, I'd feel horrible. I sincerely wish the best for everyone and their loved ones.
Friday, November 09, 2007, 2:24 PM
I have been married 9 years to my husband who has a terrible weight problem. I've tried to help him from many angles. I have learned what "infringement of agency" means as I've even tried to make his decisions for him. It seems almost necessary, though-- If he makes any effort to better his situation it really is nothing but a maintanence program....eating better and working out every other day for 2-3 months before going back to his binge, binge, binge at night routine (of course after starving himself all day).
Part of the problem is that we live in the same town as his parents, who-- even though constantly on diets themselves-- see LOVE as FOOD. So every time my husband stops in to visit, it's LOVE time. He'll be tempted by things I don't even consider a temptation just because of the emotional implications.
I _never_ would have gone out on a date with him if he looked like he does now when I met him. In fact, I had no idea that he even had a weight problem/eating disorder until after we were married. It only took a week of being married and eating carelessly for me to see he was gaining fast.
I know we can't see everything we're signing up for before marriage, but it's something I'm just not adjusting to. I even feel like at times, I'm not as nice to him and withhold my love just because firstly, it's just so unappealing to see someone trash themself, and secondly and more pertinent, I'm so scared I'm going to lose him to a heart attack or diabetes...it's like he's killing himself slowly instead of living. I find myself thinking, "What will I do if I have to be in the dating game in my 30's or 40's with 3 little kids at my side?" "Who could possibly be as good to me and appreciate who I am and be my best friend like he is?"
So it's obviously the cause of much conflict in our marriage. I'm thinking of hiring a personal trainer who will be dedicated enough to pick him up at home, if needs be, and get his butt to the gym for me. I'm just so sick of this. He wants me to be attracted to him, and he's always giving me compliments, but how can I be attracted to someone who is not just a little overweight, but obese? I'm really not knowing what to do.
Any help appreciated.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008, 12:47 AM
They have to want to do it for themselves but one way my mom does it is to make really good tasting food that's good for you.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008, 7:41 AM
cut up fruit and leave it in the fridge- it will get eaten. Cut up veggies and leave them out. Don't nag and do it gradually. Lead by example and learn that no is a complete sentence.
Sunday, March 15, 2009, 1:04 PM
Tell him you'll enjoy having sex with him more (and more often) if he loses some weight. This might motivate him. Positive reinforcement is the way to go -- think of something he wants that getting thinner wil help him get/achieve.
Sunday, March 15, 2009, 8:57 PM
I'm jealous of the posters who have supportive, and even actively engaged spouses\partners who care about health and\or weight. And empathize with the posters who are struggling alone without their significant other.
Over the past few years we have evolved (de-evolved?) to the point that I shop and cook healthy dishes, make enough for him too, but end up putting it away for myself to eat as leftovers the next day. He keeps the freezer stocked with fast food. Meat and potatoes, pizza, panini's...whatever, it's all crap to throw in the microwave. Well, a Kashi dish once in a while that at least has whole grains and veggies - but not many. I love him, but I'm not attracted to him anymore, maybe one day he'll wake up and realize why. (I told him but I don't think he believes me.) I use to think Love should be enough - but somehow it's not anymore. When I posted about that several months ago the majority of advice was to just set a good example; we can't force them. But it's not working. So I'm just trying to take care of me and not be too bitter about not being part of a 'team'. Which is sad. I did tell him I wasn't going to take care of him later when this all snowballs into debilitating health issues. And I use to be patient and unselfish. BIG SIGH. I don't like how either one of us are now.
Sunday, March 15, 2009, 9:09 PM
1:04 has the best advice.... for the rest, even if you are breaking up, try to practice unconditional love....
Sunday, March 15, 2009, 10:14 PM
Could you find a way to explore why the food he eats is important to him and to tell him why the way you eat is important to you? John Gottman, the marriage researcher, thinks that when a couple has a conflict over a difference, that they still should have a dialogue about that difference and find out what dream resides within the other person's way of being that seem so foreign and "wrong". I have no idea what dream is contained in that way of eating, but there's some good reason he does it. Obviously you're angry and resentful, if you say you won't take care of him when he gets sick from all his bad habits. I think you have to talk to him about what it's like for him that you have separate lives with regard to meals and see what's on his mind without tellling him he's wrong to think that way.
Monday, March 16, 2009, 12:47 AM
I have a very unsupportive husband. As I was posting my profile I realized my major struggles with weight began when I met my husband. He has always had an unhealthy diet. He has gone from 180lbs when we met to 230lbs eight years later. I've asked, begged, and pleaded for his support in losing weight. He just doesn't see it as a big deal.
I have to fight with him every week to buy fruits and veggies. He won't eat them and sees them as a waste of money because most get tossed in the trash. I am with the poster who buys a loaf of wheat and her husband buys a loaf of white. But mine goes a step further to eating seperate meals. For instance, yesterday I offerred to make him eggs and toast to share with me. He declined and opted for toaster scramblers (4 of them). Not that eggs are the healthiest but they are better then toaster scramblers.
I know it is my job to loose my weight and I cannot blame my husband but it would be easier if he would be a little more supportive. Not only do I have to fight myself over the fatty foods, I have to fight him too.
He has said he doesn't see why he and my daughter have to be on a diet if I am the one who wants to loose weight. I am trying to change our eating habits, not be on a diet. I don't want my daughter to grow up with my crappy eating habits.
Monday, June 29, 2009, 11:20 AM
When I'm trying to lose weight and exercise I can only do it if my husband is on board with it too. We decided a few weeks ago that our weight has crept up again and we need to do something about it, so we made a plan together. We plan healthy meals together, and we go to the gym together.
Changing to a healthy lifestyle and losing weight can be massive changes to your life, which can mean changes in attitude and personality too. I really think you need to have your partner on board with these changes and do it as a team, as you would with any other life-changing decision in your marriage.
Monday, June 29, 2009, 11:32 AM
Did you ever come to a resolution. I adore the man I am with and when we met he said he needed to lose some wieght. He had recently had some medical issues and had packed on some pounds. Well, instead of losing it, he has gained more. He looks horrible and swollen. His gorgeous face is hidden by blout and he looks like he is about to give birth. He carries it all in his belly and face. It is so unhealthy and honestly, not very attractive.
Monday, November 30, 2009, 2:07 PM
How do I get my husband to loose weight?
my husband will not eat
anything that is low fat
if it says it he just say's
"that means its gross"
He eats like a whole
pizza and drinks dr.pepper
like every day!
he will not eat vegetables,
fruit, or even water.
I dont't know what to do!!
He is 61' and weighs 230.
Im worried about his heath,
and to make matters worse
he is also a smoker.
When I was pregnant he
gained 60 pnds, I gained 40,
but I have already lost it, and he is still gaining!
He cant run for long period's of a time, and
he has breathing trouble but that is partly from smoking,
and he is only 19.
Every time I say something to him about dieting
he just gets mad, and think im just being mean, and
calling him fat.
Some one please help me!!!
Thursday, March 04, 2010, 9:23 AM
Seems impossible to get him to shed the pounds
Not sure how much exaclty my husband weighs, but all I know is that when I first got with him he was really skinny.
He is 6'1" like most men are nowadays, and he loves to eat!! He thinks he does not eat a lot and like someone else on here posted about how their husband makes excuses that certian food is healthy which makes him think that he can eat me, my husband does the same thing.
He has a big stomach, and a semi-double chin; I told him the other day that I missed the way that he used to look :-(
I have not yet tried to cook healthier food, but honestly, I really dont think that is going to work because this man loves to eat! We spent over $100 trying out the HerbaLife diet and he did it a MONTH and then quit; said it didnt work, but the reason it didnt work is because he wasn't replacing it as a meal; he was drinking the shakes and THEN eating.
He simply said, "This isn't for me." Just recently bought him an Ab roller and he didnt even try it out. His excuse is that he is too busy with other stuff to work out. I have tried to be patient with him, but he honeslty does not see how much it bothers me that he has gained weight; it's like he's completley careless.
I am not even turned on by him anymore, and like many of you other women, he just gets mad at me for talking to him about it. What a shame. Someone; please help. I do not want our marriage destroyed by this.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010, 1:13 PM
This is an extremely popular question, always.
Here is something we have written to help get your husband to lose weight:
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