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single and lonely

I'm 28 and single and it feels like I'll never meet someone. It gets lonely at night after work and especially on Saturday afternoons when it feels like everyone is out and about with their boyfriend or husband or significant other. I've been single before but not this lonely. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one, though I know it's not the case. I know there are lots of single people out there and I'm sure some are lonely too. Thanks, I'm not even making a real point, I'm kind of rambling.

Thu. Nov 29, 12:22pm

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At 28, I was in the same boat. I actually met some other single women at a party and we kind of banded together and started going out and doing things together. Then around 29, I started dating this guy from work who has now been my husband for 11 yrs.

Thursday, November 29, 2007, 12:25 PM

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my son is 24 and feels the same way. Yes, though my son lives in another state and has also spent 4 years over seas before that he still talks to him mom, at least once a week. I tell him not to define himself on whether he is a couple or not that when the right person comes along he will know. I've taught my son that instead of dwelling on how lonely he feels to go out and volunteer his time in projects and people, he has done just that and as he tells me has met some really awesome people

Thursday, November 29, 2007, 12:37 PM

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I understand what you are saying. I am in my 40's and still single. Who wants a fat girl?
So to fight my loneliness I do crafts. Anything that keeps me from thinking too much about my situation. So for that few minutes I can envelope myself in what I am doing and I enjoy it. It beats sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Though I do that too sometimes.
Aside from that try and make friends. It can be hard. I have found church to be a great place to meet people. Just don't have expectations of them being any different from the rest of the world. We are all just trying to find our way.
Anyway I hope you find what you need for fullfilment.

Thursday, November 29, 2007, 5:18 PM

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Have you tried an online dating site? I know there's sort of a stigma attached to meeting someone on the internet, but I ment my girlfriend on there and we've been together 4 years. The key is to take it slow and be careful. I didn't want to go to bars and I eventually gave up on randomly meeting someone at a bookstore or coffeeshop, so I basically went online and looked.

Thursday, November 29, 2007, 5:44 PM

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Your Not Alone!!!

Here are some suggestions. I hope one of them helps relieve you of your loneliness. In your spare time start going to Barnes and Nobles, Borders, or the library. Try to join a book club. Do you have a church you could go to. Take a bible study class. There are always interesting people in bible study. Look up old childhood friends who are single. What about your high school class reunion. 28 is the age that most people have been out of school for 10 years.

I wish I could feel lonely.

Thursday, November 29, 2007, 8:35 PM

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On line dating, oh my gosh that scares me. Not the OP
I have family that met their spouse on line and again I say, scary.

Friday, November 30, 2007, 2:03 AM

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2.03, you are online, are you not??? ooooooooooo SCAREY!!!!!

Friday, November 30, 2007, 9:44 AM

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Another perspective

I'm 25 and married, so maybe you don't want to hear from me. But just in case...

I would LOVE it if I had girlfriends who wanted to hang out on a Saturday afternoon, Sunday afternoon, etc. My hubby would love to spend all day watching sports, alone or with his boys, and certainly wouldn't miss me. So don't assume that your friends are with their significant others and don't want to hang out. Yes, I'm usually with my hubby, but I'd be so excited to go do something else with some girls.

And, speaking of your attached friends - if you're off with them, then their boys are likely off with friends too. At some point, you can all meet up, and then you're meeting new guys!

You just have to remember not to push the boyfriends/husbands to set you up with their single friends - that's too much pressure for a lot of guys, and they'll try to analyze who will be a good fit, but in the end, that's not how sparks work anyway. So just go hang out and be open to meeting people, and it'll happen. Don't put too much pressure or emphasis on any one person or event. Either something happens or it doesn't, but either way, you get to spend time with girlfriends and make other new friends. It's a no-lose situation!

Friday, November 30, 2007, 2:44 PM

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I definitely agree with 2:44 - I'm a married gal with single gal friends. Admittedly I do spend a chunk of time with teh husband, but I also make having some 'girl time' a priority. Honestly - there's nothing quite so theraputic as pedicures, lunch and shopping! One of the problems is that my single gal friends are a lot more spontaneous whereas I have to really plan to make things happen. So they often seem to ask me to do stuff at the last minute and I feel like I'm always saying 'no', when if I'd had some warning I'd have been able to schedule around stuff and would be right there! The invitations gradually taper off since 'you can never do anything'. :-(

I know my single friends get sick of me only being able to do stuff we plan and then we have to plan it a couple weeks in advance but honestly it's even worse with my married friends! Just keep trying is all I can say. Friends are worth it. Join a book club, stitch 'n bitch group, gym, hiking group, take a class, etc.. All great ways to meet people in general.

Friday, November 30, 2007, 4:43 PM

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A suggestion from someone who spent 6 years voluntarily dateless (real bad divorce)- Spend some time finding ways to make yourself happy on nights after work or on saturday afternoons. Remember- you are single- you can go where ever you want and do whatever you want. You don't have to coordinate plans and schedules or go places you don't want to.

Try and fill up your life in a way that makes you happy- you'll be amazed at how much of a turn on that can be to potential dates.

If you want to date someone and don't know where to start, try online- that's how I met my wife (not the one from the horrible divorce).

Friday, November 30, 2007, 4:58 PM

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