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I'm so fat....

I have recently found this site and don't even know where to start. After years of denial I realized that I have become a very fat person, really by standards an obese person. I'm feeling sort of helpless and don't know where to start. I have terrible habits but am so tired of being this big fatty I don't even recognize anymore. I finally faced myself in the mirror and on the scale and just about had a heart attack. I am 26, 5'2 and weigh 235 pounds, my body doesn't even look like my own, I needed to know what size I actually was and finally fit into a size 22. I know it sounds strange but I don't even know how I became this fat, I look in the mirror and don't even see myself, I certainly don't feel this big. So where do I start? Do I start learning portion control, giving up everything? How does one start on this sort of journey? I so don't want to be swallowed up in this weight and the way I'm going I feel like I can easily become a 400 pound person because of this heavy depression I am in. Any help would be appreciated.

Fri. Dec 14, 9:49pm

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First of all, here's a big hug from me to you. I feel your pain..

And second, it sounds like you have already've taken the first very difficult steps and had a "reckoning" with reality. That's tough and if you're tough enough to do that you WILL be successful at losing weight.

I have found the Beck diet solution very helpful..I'd recommend getting a copy this weekend if you can to get you started right away. It's not the kind of book that you need to read in one will walk you through, day by day, getting in touch with what hunger really feels like and how to manage emotions that come up during the process. I'd also recommend "the Solution" by Laurel Mellin.

So if you do anything this weekend, get yourself to a bookstore and check these out! Hang in're doing great!

Friday, December 14, 2007, 10:35 PM

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I feel your pain too! I was 5'4" & 238 lbs at my heaviest. I didnt see it in the mirror either. But in pictures i sure did! Now I am down to 207 and continuing to lose weight. I think Weight watchers is a good diet to start with because it teaches you portion control. You can do it! You have already found Peer Trainer. Just keep coming on here & logging your food & everyday will get better. Good Luck!

Friday, December 14, 2007, 11:03 PM

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I also agree with getting your hands on the Beck Diet Solution. It's the mental work that goes into your new lifestyle change. I first checked it out from my local library. Now I am going to buy it as reference for lifelong maintenance.

Baby steps. Change one behavior at a time. It will happen. We didn't get here over night.

Good luck to you! I'm glad you landed here! It will happen for you!

Friday, December 14, 2007, 11:07 PM

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Hi and welcome!

Many folks do find reading helpful to gain an understanding of good nutrition, portions, different types of foods to focus on/eliminate, etc. However that's not where I would start.

You are starting on a journey and you are only realizing that you need to 'go somewhere', but where do you want to end up and how do you want to get there? And most importantly where are you now? and how did you get to 'here'?

IMO you need to log. Find out where you are by putting it down where you can read it. Then look at what your bad habits are, what good things you do and what changes you could make that would have an impact but not require painful changes and start there. You balance you checkbook by looking at what you've been spending and then you forcast the future based on the past and your current income and you make a budget based on that. Same thing with food. How can you get where you're going if you don't know where you are? How can other people give you meaningful directions if they don't know where you are coming from?

Log log log. Read while you log if you like and see if you can identify a weight loss philosophy that you can get onboard with. Personally I don't go for any of them. I spent a good several weeks weighing every ounce of food and counting calories until I knew what a balanced, well-portioned diet looked like. I've lost my weight and am maintaining. I kept track of it all in my log. Often just knowing you have to log it makes you more mindful.

Best wishes to you! Losing weight is a journey that I used to think was just about pounds, but along the way I gained strength, confidence, knowledge and a whole new outlook on life and how I wanted to live. I hope that you are able to find your way as well.

Saturday, December 15, 2007, 12:06 AM

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I like what the above poster said. But I also will add that you need to find out why you gained the weight? What drives you to eat? What hole are you filling? You won't be successful unless you figure that out and then try to find a healthy thing to replace it. Good luck.

Saturday, December 15, 2007, 12:26 AM

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I've been there to. At my heaviest I was 240 at 5'3 and it was like I never knew I was getting so big until I had to get a dress for a formal event. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and made me really face myself. How did I get like that? I think you really need to dig deeper and figure out why you eat the way you do and what triggers it. You've taken the first step in realizing what you have so now you just need to take baby steps and start changing your patterns. I started on WW and it really helped me. If its something you can afford I would suggest looking into it. My first 6 months I lost 33 pounds and it made me more motivated. I think it sounds like you need some motivation right now so find it where you can. Good luck and keep us posted.

Saturday, December 15, 2007, 2:12 AM

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I'm another woman who can relate...I agree with everything that has been posted so far but I have one thing to add. Please consider going to some kind of therapy. I was in a really awful place a year ago and I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than eat and watch tv in bed. I was already obese, and I just became more so. I've been going to therapy since the beginning of the year and it has really been an important part of my weight loss plan (I've lost 35 lbs so far). You mention that you are very depressed and that's why I think you might benefit from therapy as well. It really helps to have someone to talk to.

Saturday, December 15, 2007, 7:43 AM

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OP here thanks for the comments. I was afraid that I would get mean, nasty replies but so far none. I hadn't thought of what I've done so far as taking that first step. Probably because 7:43 is right, I am depressed and all I seem to have the energy for right now is laying in bed and wallowing in my self pity, and of course eating. I am going to take your advice and look into finding a therapist and checking out WW. I knew someone years ago who did WW and it worked for her and she lost over 60 pounds. Its just really hard to face reality and see what I've done to myself and it feels even harder to do something about it right now. I live in a city where I have no family and only a few friends but I don't even see them that often so I feel pretty alone. I will go out today and get a few books from the library. A few of you have mentioned the beck diet, I will look into that. I think I will walk to the library since it is only about a mile away, I guess thats a start. ThANK YOU!

Saturday, December 15, 2007, 1:48 PM

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Just curious...

Why did you expect to get mean, nasty replies? If you do happen to get some like that, please don't give them the satisfaction of acknowledging their pettiness! Best of luck to you on your journey. Stick around PEERtrainer and you will certainly find lots of support and lots of very interesting people.

Saturday, December 15, 2007, 2:08 PM

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1st... welcome... 2nd congrats for make the decision to make a change. All the previous recommendations are all great. Just remember that this will be a long journey, at time frustrating, and occasionally seems furtile. As long as you persist, take the baby steps [no matter how small it might seems to you]. you wil see the change. and, if you fell off wagon at times, do not hate yourself for it, shake it off, but keep on going... Believe in yourself and do not give up, ever. We will all be here to give you, and each other, the support to reach our finish line.

Saturday, December 15, 2007, 5:09 PM

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