EMAIL THREAD

ending alimony?

this is something I had never thought of, but the idea makes some sense.

Link

Wed. Dec 19, 9:32am

Some decent thinking, but it goes too far. Some women still spend their married/childrearing years at home. I have. Because of that choice that my husband and I made, I have not established myself in a career. I have kept my certifications current, but winning a job in a competitive market when you have no recent work history is harder than someone might think.

I know one couple where the choice was similar, only it's the Dad who is staying home to raise their girls. It will inhibit his earning power should he need to work.

And that's what I see alimony as--compensation by the salary-earning partner to the partner who curtailed their professional development because of a joint decision. The decision was made when both thought they would be together for life, but when the marriage ends, the non-career partner ends up in a much different position than he or she would have been in had they not made that choice together, and he or she spent a lot of time supporting the other's career from home. If, through divorce, the non-career partner loses the benefits of their joint retirement, etc., then he or she is owed compensation for that. Back pay, if you will, for years of free maid service, shopping service, meal preparation, schedule maintenance, etc.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007, 10:20 AM

I'm totally on board with 10:20's assessment of the situation, though I feel that it could be included in the child support wrapper. Also, the article address LONG-term alimony not all alimony...like those women who don't marry their new man so that they can keep collecting the checks for years and years.

I got divorced - no kids, so I did not expect or want alimony. Men(not dates, not friends) have had the oddest reaction to that: several have told me that I should have gone for the jugular because they're paying their bitch of an ex, and they'd feel better about it knowing that nice women like me get alimony too. I thought that was a bit convoluted, but I guess they felt doubly screwed knowing that there are women out there that don't financially torture their exes, but they weren't that lucky.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007, 11:41 AM

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