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i hate it when thin people complain about being fat

staying on this topic of the other two threads about hating fat people that complain they can't lose and how skinny people tell fat people how to lose weight. i have a co-worker that certainly isn't fat, she could stand to lose maybe 15 pounds and she's been complaining about that same 15 pounds as long as i've known her. she's starving on weight watchers, she gets tired of south beach meat and cheese, she goes back to weight watchers, then back to south beach. but honestly i've seen her make absolutely no effort. she says she works out then complains about walking on the treadmill for 30 whole minutes like its killing her.

meanwhile, i've lost 45 pounds right in front of her eyes and she still comments about other people's losses and says, i wonder what they did looking for a quick and easy answer. i always tell her that watching what she eats and vigorous exercise will do it. then she proceeds to tell me she has no more time than 30 minutes once a week. one day while complaining she was fat, i snapped at her... you aren't fat and when you get to 200 pounds like i was then you can complain. she knows how hard i've worked for this, and how hard i'm still working and working out, yet she's so self-absorbed she doesn't see how hurtful it is when she says she's repulsive. what does that make me (we're the same size now)?

Fri. Mar 28, 5:14pm

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Whoa, OP! I know this makes no sense (because really, it doesn't make any sense), but I guarantee you that your co-worker does NOT think you are repulsive. She thinks SHE is repulsive. That is a different problem.

I 100% guarantee you that no one applies the same yardstick (or tape measure) to themselves as to others. In fact, I kind of have her problem. I have been losing weight and I don't whine, but I look at myself in the mirror and all I can see is imperfections. Whereas I can look at someone else 50 pounds heavier and honestly think they look great.

Friday, March 28, 2008, 5:37 PM

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I think it just demonstrates that extra weight weighs heavily (no pun intended) on anyone who's carrying it - whether it's 20 pounds or 200 pounds. And that the denial and/or lack of effort don't really get anyone anywhere. What you've done, OP, is what needs to happen - not just complaining and quick fixes.

I don't think the other thread is limited to people who have 100 pounds to lose - it's anyone who's wanting things to change, but don't make efforts to do so. But that's the other thread - if you disagree - fight it out over there! ha.

And I agree with the pp - what she says about herself is in no way related to how she feels about other people.

Friday, March 28, 2008, 5:43 PM

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I think we should channel all this hate and let it out at the gym! At least do something productive with it!

Friday, March 28, 2008, 5:48 PM

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OP - Can you answer my question from the other string since you seem qualified having lost 45 pounds? -

"Hey - why / how is it different for you ? ?

...Like for example my brother eats really bad and rarely works out despite having time and membership in a nearby gym
I love my brother a lot but he is 50 pounds overweight and I really don't want him to die early, he is one of my favorite people in the world.
It is hard for me to be fit, but seems harder for him.
Am I missing something ?
WHY / HOW is it so hard for some people?
I am not trying to be mean I really want to know.


Friday, March 28, 2008, 6:01 PM

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op here

thanks everyone for your comments. she's just so toxic and really gets me down sometimes. i had to vent.

10:29- in regard to you question, i can say just one word helped me- DETERMINATION. it was really tough at first to make myself go to the gym every single day, but it soon became habit and a lot easier. i just made up my mind and out of pure stubbornness did it. i wish you and your bother the best of luck and i hope that you both succeed. how about start up a challenge with him, see who can get there first? good luck, let me know if i can answer anything else...

Saturday, March 29, 2008, 4:33 PM

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10:29, your brother - like just about everyone else who's carrying more than 30 extra pounds - has a reason for keeping his fat suit. And until he's willing to figure out that reason and take steps to resolve it with something other than food and self-neglect, then any attempt he makes will be temporary. Sometimes it's enough for someone to hear those fairly vague words of understanding, but even if it isn't, it will get him thinking in the right direction and he'll know he's got a very compassionate sister to help him when he's ready.

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