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Is Peelout insensitive?

I often say things and then later think: "that was insensitive of me". Even when I'm trying to be helpful, I sometimes later think I could have used a little more tact. Many of us are in the middle of the Lead, Follow, or Get Out of the Way challenge and I wrote in the challenge that we should be commenting on logs and "kicking some azz" + giving motivation (even the challenge name might have had more tact). I wanted this challenge to be different in that we don't just rub each others shoulder and say "at least you had a diet coke with your 2 big macs and large order of fries". I wanted comments that told it like it is and said "you've got to be kidding me". However, sometimes I wonder if I go to far. I thrive my on negative feedback but thats not true for everyone. Now in this challenge I'm going to stick to giving tough, honest feedback. Thats part of the challenge and was stated up front. What I would like to know is if you think I could use improvement on how I say things. Have you ever read a comment from me to you or someone else and thought maybe I need to tone it down or stop sounding self rightious or use some more tact? I really want tough, honest feedback as a way for me to improve. You don't have to worry about hurting my feelings or making me feel bad or anything like that and obviously don't need to leave your name. Thanks in advance for any negative comments.

Peelout


Thu. Aug 1, 7:25am

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I have a family member who some would say has no tact, but that's what we all love about her! We know who she is, we accept it, and we appreciate it!

As a fellow (kale loving) Challenge Member, I've yet to read a thing I felt was insensitive. You don't judge behavior, you observe behavior. You point out the VERY COMMON pitfalls and patterns of behavior that keep people stuck where they are. You shine a light on all the little lies we tell ourselves to keep us entrenched in patterns of behavior that got us where we are and keep us from moving forward. And, in my opinion, you've done it all very tactfully.

Sorry, no negative comment from me. I'm going to go eat some kale.



Thursday, August 01, 2013, 9:12 AM

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I have no negative comments.. you speak the truth.. you shoot straight.. you don't sugar coat things.. You remind me of another guy friend that pops his head on PT .He will come back around. You would like Him Peel... His name is Bendage.. He always gave it to me straight..I too thrive and grow on that type of feedback.. it helps me see where i need to work on myself.

I don't see you as insensitive at all. I love the way you are.. the way you care and the way you call people out on crap they know they are doing is wrong anyway, but sometimes having someone say. your doing this because you choose to do it makes a world of difference

.. I have been doing it more in my groups too. telling them just how it is.. and both girls.. new to my groups thanked me for my comments.. people WANT and NEED accountability that's why we are here. so I have been giving it more since meeting You.most people sugarcoat things and say its ok.. you will do better next time.. that type of support will keep them where they are in there journey.

i think you are fine the way you are and I wouldn't change your approach.. I love our team and I love our challenge even the name... Im like the PP.. I think you shine light on things we are doing that could be holding us back.. that's why I asked you if there was anything I can do more or differently to improve. because I know you will always give it to me like it is.. I expect nothing less!

don't you dare think about changing


mmmm.. kale sounds good..

lynneta6


Thursday, August 01, 2013, 12:10 PM

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Hey -- I have known you long enough to say with great honesty... You are just fine... Excuses are what have got most of in the trouble we are in, and on our present journeys to healthier living. I appreciate everything you have ever said to me and your new challenge is amazing-- so many people involved and SO MUCH PROGRESS HAPPENING. pleze stay just the way you are...

su-z

Thursday, August 01, 2013, 7:37 PM

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BUT WAIT----- I wish you would eat some vegetables... Especially those brussel sprouts..... and I just read in the paper McDonald's stock has dropped since you started your latest challenge...

Thursday, August 01, 2013, 7:40 PM

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lol.. brussels are amazing.. had some tonight.. yes he needs more ve, but he eats salads.. sooo but wait its not kale.. LOL.. we love you bud.. yes your challenge is kicking butt.. I know I am down 6 pounds with it!

lynneta6

Friday, August 02, 2013, 12:00 AM

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If all it takes is quick kiss on our booboos--- this site would have so many fewer members....

Friday, August 02, 2013, 11:43 AM

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I don't know that you are "insensitive". However, my concern is that for those people that aren't prepared for or aren't able to handle the straight forward, blunt reactions you provide - they might leave the team. However, though on the other hand, if they aren't really serious.. then they don't need to be there anyway.

Lorelei7

Friday, August 02, 2013, 6:14 PM

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I understand where your coming from thinking that, but I agree.. PNP needs to stay a straight forward tell you like it is team. people know that I would say pretty much before they join.. I always tell my friends don't ask my opinion if you don't want the truth. I know I have a group that two members just joined.. and I called them both out the same day for something .. they thanked me and said I was just what they needed. I think people want structure just so few give it. I know before PNP I didn't give it as much.. now I encourage and call people out.. so far I haven't ticked anyone off yet...

Peel.. I never read the description for the PNP team.. does it let them know the type of team we are..? will have to read it.. if it doesn't maybe we should let peeps know what to expect from PNP 2013, BUT personally I wouldn't change a thing about that team. love the support.. I also know I cant get by with crap .. people are watching.. like big bro has his eye on me lol

lynneta6

Friday, August 02, 2013, 7:10 PM

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OK guys,,, has anyone really looked at the PROGRESS not PERFECTION page?? We have @ 30 people logging each day.... not many can say that.

We live in a society where everyone gets a participation trophy... We all need a kick in the arzz now and then... and it doesn't hurt as much when it is someone we may never have to see face to face.... Stop worrying and take care of yourself, if you find others along the way you can bond with and support, that is great BUT you are the PRIORITY.....

Friday, August 02, 2013, 11:10 PM

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Grateful for the tough luv peel - we need it and although it's hard to hear when we are not stepping up - there is more success in the last month because of the accountability.

bellazeal

Friday, August 02, 2013, 11:26 PM

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I should join this group... ...I don't think any of my current group members are reading my logs any more, either cheerleading or keeping me accountable. Where would I find the "insensitive" Peelout?

Saturday, August 03, 2013, 4:49 PM

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you wont find a insensitive peel but you will find him and a whole team that will call you out on crap. but also offer encouragement.

we are blunt.. we don't sugar coat.. we speak our minds for what we feel may benefit our team members and we expect the same for ourselves

join Progress not perfection 2013.

we are rocking

lynneta6



Saturday, August 03, 2013, 8:49 PM

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you're not insensitive. I hate to say it, but those of us who have yoyo'd on our weight need straight talk because we are very good at avoiding the issue -- that is why our weight went up again!

Monday, August 05, 2013, 4:29 PM

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I don't think you're insensitive. Maybe a little blunt, but not insensitive. I watch what you write, and you have forewarned everyone about the a$$ kicking they will receive in regards to the L,F or GOOTW challenge in hopes to better themselves and their lives for it. Everyone on PNP inspires ME to do well and excel throughout my weightloss journey. So, if anything, thanks for helping keep the fire lit under my a$$! Haha!

Beth

Tuesday, August 27, 2013, 9:08 AM

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I wish there was a like button here .. beth.. i agree.. we need that fire to stay lit!

lynneta6

Tuesday, August 27, 2013, 7:36 PM

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I don't know why there are so many rules in the group. There seems to be a challenge setup where everyone has to do the same thing and feels bad if they don't. I don't believe everyone needs to follow rules. We should just try to improve, feel good when we do, and learn why when we don't.

Saturday, October 26, 2013, 5:27 PM

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Doesn't sound like the right group for you, then. Those who like said set up are killing it and making great progress.

Saturday, October 26, 2013, 8:43 PM

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I'm guessing the comment regarding rules was written by someone who is occasionally monitoring the site, but not following regularly. From that perspective, it could look like there are a lot of rules. The rules are only related to the Lead, Follow, or Get out of the Way challenge (LFG).

But the challenge is totally optional. It even says its not for everyone. Many people are not in the challenge that are still in the team. One of the benefits of the challenge is that it you choose the core rules, not others. But by having CR's, people know what to hold you accountable to. If you don't have CR's, then its hard for people to know when to give you an attaboy (or attagirl) and when to give you a kick in the caboose. It also gives a structured method of staying on track for those that like that sort of thing.

The team is Progress, Not Perfection. It is not the LFG team. If you aren't a regular commentor on the team, I hope you will join in. LFG is pretty intense and not right for everyone, but we have lots of people who aren't in the challenge who are just as welcome as those that are. We don't discriminate when it comes to kicking azz.

Peelout

Saturday, October 26, 2013, 11:42 PM

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peel is right.. I am in the challenge, but you dont have to be in the challenge to feel welcomed in the team. we watch out for everyone.. even ones that dont post.. i have been checking logs of people that have NEVER commented, but they may be reading so i include them. its an amazing team.. like peel said the team is progress not perfection 2013 not LFG..

NOW as for LFG its hard core.. its not for everyone.. but I for one LOVE the accountability.. it helps me stay focused.. i also went from 179 to 165.. i gained a few pounds back because i slacked in some of my choices too many grains.. and a friend called me out on it.. so i decided to put grains away this week and focus on VEGGIES. ALSO tom decided to visit right before weigh in day LOL.. go fig

but seriously give the team a chance.. if the challenge isnt your thing dont do it, but stick around and enjoy some amazing support, and some butt kicks if you need it.

I will say we dont sugar coat things.. some are gentler than others.. peel just likes to kick butt, but we kick his back when he needs it

come say hi.. we dont bite really.

lynneta6

Monday, October 28, 2013, 3:47 PM

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PNP is a great group !!!
Your personal progress is our goal, you can join in to a challenge, watch from the sidelines or create your own challenge. The team also has had very simple challenges we total miles to complete journeys, We've gone across the USA, Australia and now it is Lisbon to Rome....
The goal of weight loss and healthy living isn't easy for many of us and motivation from others can be so helpful.. and the diversity in this team is amazing.

Peel isn't insensitive, I admit a little wordy at times. All those words you read through, they are not all rules to the challenge, in fact there really aren't that many rules--- maybe we should ask Peel to put things in a "reader's digest" version.....

Tuesday, October 29, 2013, 7:09 AM

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PP: Good point. My kids will do anything to avoid asking me a math question. They just want to know how to do a math problem and I always want to explain the concept behind the math. I should apply the readers digest suggestion to their math homework. I'm sure they would agree!
Peelout

Tuesday, October 29, 2013, 8:11 PM

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Who is peelout? Is he in a group? Does he work at peertrainer?

Friday, November 01, 2013, 11:55 AM

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no he does not work for peertrainer.. he belongs to the team progress not perfection 2013.. he created a challenge that some of us on the team are a part of, but you dont have to be in the challenge to be in the team.. come check us out

lynneta6

Friday, November 01, 2013, 5:56 PM

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He makes Jillian look like Mary Poppins. He's ruthless and loves to bring people to tears. Avoid him like the plague. And never, ever mention brussel sprouts around him. (lol)

Actually, I started a challenge on PNP2013 called LFG where we do a lot of log checks and we tell it like it is (good or bad). I started this thread just to make sure I wasn't hurting anyone's feelings with my tone. Fortunately, everyone liked the idea of holding each other accountable and giving a kick in the azz when needed.
Peelout

Saturday, November 02, 2013, 6:52 PM

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i am cooking brussel sprouts as I read this. Marinated in oil and garlic, blackened in a cast iron pan and topped with some lemon juice.... I am not afraid of you--- I know some day you will eat and like the sprouts..... even if you have to travel to Massachusetts to try them.....

guess who ????????

Saturday, November 02, 2013, 7:17 PM

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lol.. gotta love this team.. i love brussels.. hmmm never tried them in cast iron.. im making your fav black beans..someday we will convert you..there is more of us than you.. be very afraid.. we are like the stepford wives with nutrition.. you will become one of us.

lynneta6

Saturday, November 02, 2013, 7:47 PM

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my 2 cents about the LFG challenge

What I love about this challenge is that the RULES are made by ourselves.. only we know where are problems lie.. we individualize our own plan....but there are some things that are universal such as exercise. we don't have rules about HOW to exercise.. again, we find our own way.. but we are expected to keep increasing at our own level. No two people can have the same rules.. Once you reach the Second (bronze stage) you make your own exercise goal. for example: it could be to walk one mile with one person or run a marathon for another. What is expected is that you work toward YOUR GOAL.

Anyway... the feedback that people give you is basically to make sure you are sticking to your own RULES. For instance, if my CR (core requirement) is to eat greens daily and teammates don't see this in my log, I will hear about it! People won't berate you for things that are not on your plan. We all have different plans and approaches that work for US. But if you don't know what that is, you can also learn what is working for others.

So in my experience the challenge is working for me! Its a gradual build-up that leads to results! I LOVE the team, I LOVE the feedback and support, I LOVE the challenge and I LOVE the results!

Come join us! you can jump in anytime and start from the beginning. It's for a YEAR and we are all at different points.

Hope to see you there!

Squanna



Sunday, November 03, 2013, 5:24 AM

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I'm not sure who is in Mass. cooking nasty brussel sprouts. But I think I smell them here in ILL. Is it liz or suz?
Peel

Sunday, November 03, 2013, 3:30 PM

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lol.. heyy it could have been me.. but not this time..

lynn

Sunday, November 03, 2013, 5:08 PM

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