Distortion of Self

I have this issue that is really hard to deal with, ,maybe some of you can empathize and give me some advice. I am 5'3 and at my highest weight I was 226, a size 22. I am now 168 and a size 12/14 depending on what it is and who its made by. The problem I'm having is that when I look at myself I don't really see what I look like now, I still see the obese person I had become. Even though in my mind I know I've lost 58 pounds I still feel huge and obese. I cover my body with baggy clothes. I mean I feel better and healthier but I have this distorted vision of what I really look like. I avoid mirrors at all times. Any suggestions on how to get over that or what I might be able to do?

Sat. Oct 22, 9:29am

58 pounds? That is amazing. You must feel great about such a huge accomplishment. I avoid mirrors as well, so I have no advice for you. But you are great.

Saturday, October 22, 2005, 9:33 AM

Congratulations on your accomplishments so far! I would suggest you take a fun and encouraging friend shopping with you to look for some new clothing styles that really fit your new shape. Throw out those baggy clothes and embrace the new you!

Saturday, October 22, 2005, 9:46 AM

I know many that have the same exact issue. You look in the mirror and tend to have that former image burned into your head. I thought the same exact thing when I looked in the mirror this morning. A few people have noticed that I've lost weight and I can't "see" it. I still see the rolls and bulge, etc. A great thing to do is go to a clothing store. Go to a different store than you usually would pick because you are a totally different size. Ask a salesperson to help you pick out some outfits. Try EVERY single one of them on. Get some new "images" into your head so that you can see what you really look like. Pick out materials that you love, that are soft, or edgy or anything you've always wanted to wear. YOU DON"T HAVE TO BUY A THING. This is more for you and for you to "SEE" what you really look like. Go today.

Saturday, October 22, 2005, 10:14 AM

Congratulations!

First of all, Congratulations on your weight loss so far! Don't get discouraged because you're not all the way there yet. You've made great progress!

Also, I agree with the advice in the above comments. I've just recently started to work toward my weightloss goals, but one thing I am going to try is keeping a photo of myself at my highest weight (It's of me at 4th of July looking very overweight and eating a bag of potato chips!) to compare to photos in the future. My plan is to look at it occassionally along my way.

I decided to try this because when I looked at that photo I realized how different I looked from other pictures from before I'd gained weight. Before that I don't think I'd ever realized how much I had gained! I had seen the numbers on the scale go up, but it never really registered with me.

I have a feeling weightloss will work the same way. The numbers may not seem that impressive, but the comparison will definitely show a difference after 20, 30, 40...pounds. I think it's hard to see our own weightloss because it's not instantaneous, but comparing photos every few months is a less subjective comparison.

Saturday, October 22, 2005, 11:35 AM

Its a strange thing...the way our minds trick us. I lost 40 pounds and yet when I eat certain things or do certain things I see the weight...like I ACTUALLY SEE IT! Do you still feel bad about yourself but know you look better? or do you really see the weight when you look in the mirror? I worked with a specialist for a while and she had me fill out these charts when I felt that way, usually there are reasons behind it, triggers we didnt even know were there.Seeing someone could be really helpful. But if you dont have the cash I suggest you make yourself little charts...I recommend this to everyone, I still do it to this day.
It helps you bring some reality to your feelings.
start with this:
when I eat I feel...
when I look in the mirror I feel...
blank bothers me the most because....
After each answer you write how true to life you think that statement is on a scale of 1-10. then how much you think others would agree with you on a scale of 1-10. Then the part I find the most helpful , you write down a memory or time in your life that you also felt that way.
I know its complicated but hey this whole weight thing is complicated!

Saturday, October 22, 2005, 11:41 AM

I like the charts ideas. To answer your question, "Do you still feel bad about yourself but know you look better? or do you really see the weight when you look in the mirror?" Its the complete oppisite, I still see the weight in the mirror even though I know I have lost a lot of it.
I will try the chart idea and I will also break out the very few photos I still have of myself when I was at my biggest. I will tape it to my bathroom mirror and make myself look at it when I get into the shower.
Thanks

Saturday, October 22, 2005, 11:48 AM

This may sound strange, but people do this too when they gain weight and still think they look ok. Still wear their old, tight clothes and are in complete denial. It's just a distorted body image. I think there is great advice in the previous posts.

Saturday, October 22, 2005, 4:39 PM

Definitely get some "before" pictures to look at, but also take some new pictures of how you look right now. Look at them and compare them. You may even want to show someone else.
I have a before picture of myself and a current picture of myself on my computer and I look at them every couple days (ok - I'm a little vain). When I first looked at the before picture, I found myself thinking, "I really wasn't as fat as I thought I was." But then comparing it to my current picture, I couldn't believe the difference. My husband saw them and said, "Wow! You look like you've lost a hundred pounds!" (I've lost just over 20)
So, I guess I don't really know what my point is, but maybe just try to find a way to be objective about your appearance. Allow yourself to acknowledge your trouble areas, but commend yourself on the areas you've made progress.
And DEFINITELY get some new clothes - or, as the above poster said - at least try them on. Bring a digital or polaroid camera with you, too, so you can remember how you look. You'll never get a new image of yourself wearing your old baggy clothes.
Oh yeah - and congratulations!!! on your success so far!! : )

Saturday, October 22, 2005, 8:40 PM

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