weight loss envy

I have a friend who lives far away and hasn't seen me for a while. She does know that weight loss is something I've been working on, as she and I used to exercise when we lived closer...but I wasn't as serious about it then. Anyway, when I tell her now about my success she seems to get jealous and quiet. Any thoughts on how to address this with her?

Tue. Dec 6, 9:37pm

Why do you need to address this with her? Have you considered that she may have gained considerable weight since you last saw her and therefore she does not want to address the topic of weight? Take her quietness as a cue to change topic. I know it feels great to get support from friends, but ultimately the motivation to eat right and exercise needs to come from within.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005, 1:33 AM

Well said.

And never let anybody sabatoge your efforts. But beware. Sometimes one's worst enemy can be one's very own self!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005, 1:53 AM

I think the first response is somewhat harsh. Maybe the OP is excited about losing weight and her accomplishments. Who wouldn't be and who else would you want to share it with if not your friends and family?? Motivation from within is necessary but it's only a natural part of human nature to want to share success with others. OP, be sensitive but genuine excitement is also contagious and after a while she might be right there with you.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005, 2:12 AM

You could ask her. Just mention that you've noticed and were wondering what it means. If she's caught up in self judgement maybe you can be a sympathetic ear. If she'd really rather not hear about it that would be good to know, too. You're working hard and you deserve to celebrate. Too bad not everyone is available to celebrate with you. I will, though... yay you!! *happy dance* :)

Thursday, December 15, 2005, 9:48 PM

To the 5th poster - what was so harsh about the other post? It could be as simple as her friend feeling tired of her needing validation on her success. Ever think of that?
To the OP, do you talk to her often and if you do do you always talk about your weight loss? If she is a true friend you should be able to say anything to her without repercussions but if you are not sure how she will respond to being questioned about her lack of enthusiasm or support then maybe you should rethink your friendship.

Friday, December 16, 2005, 2:51 AM

OP here. By a LONG stretch weight loss is not the only thing I talk about or that I talk about with her. My weight loss journey is something very personal and my milestones (while written about here) are not something that I broadcast. it isn't like I'm telling her about every lb lost. More like, 'I lost two inches last month!' Perhaps it is the milestones that bug her, cause they are pretty sizeable when taken en mass. e.g. I've lost 15 lbs in the last 5 months!

Friday, December 16, 2005, 8:33 AM

congrats to you! losing 15 pounds is a fantastic accomplishments and I think you're doing great.

Elle

Friday, December 16, 2005, 8:38 AM

I think your accomplishment is wonderful as well!!! It's frustrating wanting to share your excitement about something you've worked so hard at and not getting any kind of encouragement in return. I used to talk about my morning work out at work, but I soon learned that most people don't care, so now I just keep quiet. Fortunately, I have this place to brag to!

Friday, December 16, 2005, 12:00 PM

Understand

I dealt with this same issue with a close friend. I just let her come to me when she was ready. While I have to admit it did hurt my feelings that she never mentioned it and it was very clear that I had lost a significant amount of weight I also knew that she had lost weight in the past and gained it back. She finally said something to me after about 6 months and even joined me for a workout one time. Baby steps. She just might need you as her inspiration. Just be there for her and don't shove it down her throat.

Friday, December 16, 2005, 12:46 PM

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