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Do you feel guilty being FAT?
I feel guilty being fat because my main problem in life revolves around me. I watch the news and so many awful things are going on to people all over the world and my main problem is wanting to fit in some hip huggers and look hot!! How shalllow is that. I wish I could gain control of myself and solve this relativly easy problem that I created from feeding my piehole. I just hope once I lose this weight I can actually be a contributing member of society, instead of a selfish self-absorbed little pig. (thank-you Alex B for the quote)
Tue. Jul 17, 7:47pm
I think something that you may consider is that by eating more healthfully and getting in shape, in a way you are contributing to a better society. By eating less, less energy will be used to bring food to your table, thus decrease global warming. And by getting your health back, we'll have a healthier and more productive society.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007, 11:31 PM
YES, I feel guilty ALL THE TIME... but rarely because I'm fat. I feel like no matter what I look like, what I do, who I am.... it will NEVER be enough. I feel like every action is tainted with selfishness.... even volunteering and donating is some twisted endeavor to achieve a sense of superior self-satisfaction... my problems are too trivial to warrant my attention, my suffering too minor to warrant my depression, my dreams too petty to be called dreams.
So I guess what I'm saying is that fat has nothing to do with your perspective. Today, maybe your problem is the hip huggers. Maybe tomorrow its a co-worker who got promoted ahead of you at work. The next day its not having the latest iPhone/Pod/Whatever, maybe its an unexpected illness, maybe its a fight with your significant other. Whatever. There will still be a ocean of crap happening to people all over the world that'll make your problems seem shallower than a kiddie pool.
Sorry I have no good advise for you, I can only commiserate.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 1:28 AM
I feel guilty about having to spend money that could and proably should be better spent elsewhere on W/W to help helpless little me stop over eating.
I feel guilty about feeling guilty, too. So its an endless spiral, downwards.
And all because I labeled my emotion 'guilt'. Perhaps an emotion is just a label for a set of thoughts (which after all is what leads to an emotion anyway) and if we deliberately change the thoughts then the corresponding emotion would not be 'guilt'. I think it is a waste of emotional energy to percieve oneself wieghed down by guilt, when 'guilt' itself is just a result of certain thoughts, and those thoughts can be changed and certainly have no substance in and of themselves. Rambling a bit here, sorry :)
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 5:30 AM
"I just hope once I lose this weight I can actually be a contributing member of society, instead of a selfish self-absorbed little pig."
Hey don´t be so hard on yourself .
Saying that, my thoughts are ( and I´m thinking about me here too) is that if you start being "a contributing member " of society/ your life or family then the weight will start to go along with it.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 9:19 AM
Wow, maybe I should start feeling guilty. To be honest I don't feel guilty for much of anything. I work hard, play hard, etc. Maybe I'm just selfish but I see the world as you have to take care of yourself and enjoy life, or its just no worth living. That being said I do volunteer for a local dog rescue group, but I don't think that is saving the world.
You need to come to peace with yourself that you can't change the world and that taking care of yourself and the ones around you should be enough.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 9:28 AM
I don't feel guilty about being fat because I gained all my weight making babies. 2 pregnancies 11 months apart. The first pregnancy was twins and I gained 90 lbs (lost 50 after they were born) and the second one was a single and I gained 60 lbs 25 I lost after birth).
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 3:49 PM
If you think you need to lose weight first to become a contributing member of society you will probably never do it. Get over yourself and do something now.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 5:35 PM
OP- stop whinig and appreciate the good you have in life. You are right to feel guilty about the little things. Just feel happy about the good.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 7:19 PM
oops...not for OP.....for 1:28
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 7:19 PM
I don't feel guilty But Ifeel like a square trying to get into a circle. He I am at 53 just getting fatter . Well lately I've been maintaining. I say i want to lose for my health I think I just don;t want to be the fat one.
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 12:17 AM
I felt guilty when i would sit on the public transit in between 2 people and feel like i was squishing them with my weight.
Now, my behind fits perfectly into the seat :)
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 12:53 AM
I mostly feel guilty because, while small children in third world countries are starving and have no clean water, I have abused my blessings like so many other Americans. Instead of being a good steward of what I have been given and taking care of my body with gratitude that I have the means to do so, I have forced it to become something it was never meant to be, and that could have been easily avoided if I had a better mindset from the get go.
It makes me feel ridiculous and selfish that I have to struggle to not each too much and force myself to drink enough water when children are dying of hunger or diseases they got from drinking contaminated water because they were thirsty and had no other choice. Maybe I should go spend some time with those people and learn what nessecities really are. Perhaps I would rethink my "need" to spend my money on processed food and use it toward something more productive than opting to poison my own body.
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 1:08 AM
i feel stupid for spending my life worring about something that should be a habit.
i feel wasteful for trying to exercising more to make up for overeating- rather than eating what i need and exercising just for fitness
i feel pathetic being so afraid of doing things when i am alone that i indulge in food for a distraction- why not simply do what i love- let go of the fear or if i don't love it just suck it up and get it over with sooner rather than make myself feel worse.
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 2:28 AM
Guys Your making me feel bad ! We all found Peer Trainer Huh? We wn't give up. Feelings aren't facts. Let them go! There are worse things then being Fat!
Like having a complusion that kills some one like drunk driving ! Web are just hurting ourseleves so we just gotta get over it!
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 6:53 AM
You sound like a perfectionist. I know how to recognize it because I'm one too. Guilt is a regular emotion when you can't live up to your own unrealistic expectations. So try taking a step back from the situation for a minute, and try to view it a little more objectively:
Would you feel guilty for spending the time, energy and money to get chemotherapy if you had cancer? I doubt it. Yet the long-term effects of obesity are just as life threatening.
Do you think that your loved ones should not take the time to exercise and eat healthfully? I doubt it. I think that you probably want them to be strong and healthy and energetic becuase you realize that they can contribute more to the world if they are healthy and happy than if they are not.
The same is true for you. You will be a more positive force in the world when you are healthy and happy. It's a simple fact of life that all human beings - yourself included - require exercise and food to live. There is nothing to feel guilty about taking the time that you need each day to exercise and prepare healthy food for yourself.
Will eating unhealthy foods instead of healthy foods help those starving children? Of course not.
Do you think that you should not take the time to exercise because you should be dedicating that time to others? You'll have more time for others if you feel energetic and healthy.
When you're first embarking on the journey to lose weight, it does take a lot of time and energy to learn the new skills that you need. But eventually those skills will become habits and won't need the same level of commitment. Then that time will be free to spend in other ways.
You'll also find as you lose weight and get healthier that your energy will increase, and you'll have time and energy to commit to the weight loss process and other things.
And should you wait until you've lost the weight to do things that make you feel like a productive member of society? Of course not. Find something that would inspire you and give you joy, and then dedicate a reasonable amount of time and energy to it. Giving to others can help us increase our gratitute for all that we have. You could even combine the two if you think it would motivate you. For example, for every pound you lose, give a dollar to your favorite charity.
Let go of the guilt. It's nothing but self-bashing. It helps no one, and harms you. It does not motivate, it drags you down. Treat yourself gently and with love - you deserve it!
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 5:28 PM
Does Guilt Make You Burn More Calories?
If not then toss the baggage. There is a lot of crap in the world ... unfortunatly.
Try : Change the things you cannot accept
Accept the things you cannot change
and hopefully ........ have the wisdom to know the difference.
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 6:24 PM
I understand how you feel. But I don't equate being overweight in any way with not making contributions to society. I feel guilt, because I know when I am eating it is usually because I am not facing the work that I was put on this earth to do. I am an artist. I have packed 50 pounds of extra worry weight all because my focus has been on my worry about my art instead of focusing on my art. If I focused wholeheartedly on my art, not worrying about the outcome of it, I wouldn't be eating so much. I sometimes feel guilty that I don't accomplish more because I do not have children. What is my excuse for not doing my art consistently? What is my excuse for overeating? I can't blame the weight on having a baby. I think for me the answer is to develop new habits to replace the medicating worry and guilty with food. Everytime I feel the need to overeat, everytime I feel bad about myself, from here on out, I log on to Pt. I don't necessarily need to visit my team or group--I can just log private feelings I am having and then read what is going on with others. That is a tremendous way for me to get out of my head and back to thinking straight so I can go back to my artwork.
Thursday, July 19, 2007, 11:07 PM
I feel guilty for having let MYSELF down, and am so embarrassed that I've let myself go.
I was heavy throughout my teens, peaked at 210 lbs. at 21, joined a gym, and gradually dropped about 70 lbs.
Ten years later, I am now having to lose it all again. Lots of stress & sadness in my life, and I am SO mad at myself for allowing this to happen.
Saturday, July 21, 2007, 4:02 PM
Cheer up everyone! I too have felt guilty, but after reading this thread I started thinking that's silly. You really do have to be the person you want to be...NOW. Be the skinny person, be the helpful volunteer, be whoever it is you want to be. If you start believing and behaving as that person it will happen...simple as that. Celebrate what you've done and forget the things that can't be changed. You can't be lose weight from 5 years ago, but you can lose it now. Everyone's got their own struggles and if you can lose weight and avoid expensive prescription medication for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes, then I'd say you're doing darn good...let alone hospital stays and doctor visits. Good luck!
Sunday, July 22, 2007, 11:59 AM
IF ANYONE WANTS TO FEEL GUILTY
than feel guilty about when you step on the scale after scarfing down a huge meal, when the calorie content from that one day is what a family is lucky to have in week in some "developing" country. Feel guilty for abusing the healthy body that you were born with, and setting yourself for chronic health conditions because of obesity. Feel guilty for draining the health care system from funds and resources to help you deal with your medical condition which is self induced. Feel guilty for having to go in for gastric bypass surgery while patients are out there waiting for healthy organs to be transplanted so maybe, just maybe they can live that life that you were priviledged enough to be born into healthy. Feel guilty for not exercising when there are people who have lost limbs due to violence / war, and will never be able to walk let alone run again. Feel guilty for watching drug manufacturers receive approval for weight loss / gain prevention drugs, while cancer management drugs sit on the shelves waiting for FDA approval.
These are the type of things that you should slap yourself up the side of the head about.
Monday, July 23, 2007, 10:10 AM
I AM guilty of letting myself down, having gained about 50-60lbs. over the past 2½ years! I'd lost a lot of weight ten years ago, had a hot body, and was SO proud of myself. I'd gone from 210lbs (5'6") to wearing sizes 4-6. I had energy, was happy, confident, and radiant. Everything that a single, pretty young woman should be.
I've struggled stress related depression, then my father's death (June/06). Emotional eating & drinking, inactivity, and exhaustion have lead me to regain most of the weight I'd lost many years ago.
I am GUILTY, ashamed, and embarrassed by what I've done to myself. But ... I capable of changing this! I know that I will only continue to feel negatively about myself should I CHOOSE to stay in the rut I've created. I can only continue to feel guilty if I let myself do so.
And I've choosen to work at re-establishing my happiness, health, and the "hottie" that I was :)
Monday, November 12, 2007, 3:06 PM
I am not feeling guilty, I wanna look damn hot when I am at goal, lol!!! :)
Monday, November 12, 2007, 9:07 PM
I don't feel guilty. I feel like I want to get to my goal so I can start educating about healthy eating and fitness. I love to share what I've learned. I want to make the world a better place...one healthy person at a time.
Be positive OP. Think about something good that you can do now.
Monday, November 12, 2007, 10:00 PM
Used to feel guilt and shame. Learned to release that .I have decided to love myself.
Monday, November 12, 2007, 10:30 PM
I also felt guilt and shame especially with comments like you have such a pretty face,or do you really need to eat that,or my all time favorite,so and so is so fat they're fatter than you ! like I'm the gauge to measure all fat people by Hell, I know I'm fat. Now I'm feeling anger.Those are all feelings and thank God feelings change.
Monday, November 12, 2007, 10:58 PM
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